Article 16816 of rec.games.frp: Path: jarvis.csri.toronto.edu!mailrus!uunet!jarthur!jarthur.claremont.edu!dparsons From: dparsons@jarthur.claremont.edu (Daniel Parsons) Newsgroups: rec.games.frp Subject: Navero repost Keywords: Navero 1-23 Message-ID: <3738@jarthur.Claremont.EDU> Date: 14 Jan 90 05:47:18 GMT Sender: dparsons@jarthur.Claremont.EDU Organization: Harvey Mudd College, Claremont, CA 91711 Lines: 5432 Hello, world. I have gotten quite a few requests for "all of the Navero postings," so it seems that they don't get out very reliably. I am starting this semester by reposting all the old Naveros for anyone who wants them. If this doesn't get around, I'm sorry, but I don't know what I can do about it. This covers Navero 1-23 (The most recent one), including Navero XXII, which quite a few people missed. Newsgroups: rec.games.frp Subject: Humerous Situations: Navero I Reply-To: dparsons@jarthur.Claremont.EDU (Daniel Parsons) Distribution: usa Organization: Harvey Mudd College, Claremont, CA Keywords: The Adventures of Navero, of the Correct and Unalterable Way I like all these postings about funny situations which keep happening to otherwise perfectly normal adventurers. In my opinion, the game should be funny. For the last 3 years I have been running a character who, through no fault of his own, always manages to be hysterically funny just through inspired incompetence. I now give you, without further ado... NAVERO, PRIEST OF THE CORRECT AND UNALTERABLE WAY!! Our story begins when our Hero is chucked out of his monestary at age 16 to go out and learn the ways of the world. The Order is (as you might guess from the title) quite Lawful Good, but dear Navero has a streak of obstinancy in him, concerning how following the rules might not apply in every situation; this means he asks lots of stupid questions, and annoys the h**l out of his superiors. It was decided that this rather foolish youth should go out into the world, and see for himself, that the Way was the only way; perhaps experience and a few clouts to the head would teach him to keep his mouth shut. Our Hero was not sent out all alone, of course: a half- elven mage named Dania (female, 4' 9", VERY earthy) had stopped by to purchase some Holy Water, but could not afford it, and so instead of paying was told to escort this young idiot for a little while, and see that he didn't get hurt. The rest of the party was assembled in the traditional barfight. Dania had gone into a tavern to unwind, as Navero had been pestering her for days: he had never been that far from home before, and everything prompted his curiosity. Dania went into the tavern; Navero tagged along, and received the shock of his youthful life. People sitting around, not doing anything productive, willfully imbibing spiritous liquors! Gazing at his new friend with obviously unwholesome thoughts! (He didn't seem to notice that she was gazing right back.) The noise! The smells! This must be one of those pits of decrepitude that Father Gulucios sometimes spoke of, when warning about temptations! But how could anyone find this sort of behaviour tempting? It was so... vile, and undisciplined, and really icky! Our hero stood up on a table, and began to preach. He wasn't nearly as good as Father Gulucios - the big man with the black beard and scar on his face knocked Navero down, and some more people started tossing him around the room, and everyone was laughing at him. Then he landed on a VERY big man who grabbed the man with the scar and struck him in the face. A great fight began; It swirled around the room, Navero in the middle; he tried to tell them about the eternal damnation of their souls that these actions would no doubt assure, but no one would listen. Finally, a small man in a suit of plate mail (YES! a PC!) grabbed Our Hero and dragged him out into the street. Cavalier: "You stay out here, good holy man... er, choir boy, er... No matter - I and my companions shall sort out this lot of unruly peasants." There commenced much sound and fury, signifying nothing. After it was all over, Dania came out, looking rather disheveled, and told Our Hero in no uncertain terms never to do anything like that again. Navero: "But I must! If I do not, I will have failed my duty to my faith. 'One must strike when Opportunity grants it.' It is written that our duty is sacred, to bring the light to the world, and save those who are lost." Dania: "YOU almost lost your HEAD!! And mine, and that really you . I ought to..." But at this moment, the short person in plate mail came out of the tavern, with someone who looked like a mercenary, and a mysteriously cloaked figure. There was a dent in the short person's helmet, but he did not take the time to try and explain it. Cavalier: "Well, that was entertaining. You there, young priest! Do you know any sorts of healing arts?" Navero: "Um... I took my training from Father Angorian, who once..." Cavalier: "Very good! We have need of a healer, as we are going north to seek out an Orc lair that needs to be emptied. It shouldn't be too much trouble, but your presence would be appreciated. One of the others may have a need of you. There should be riches and glory for all involved. Your little friend can come along too, if she likes." And so, the party formed and we went on our first adventure. I know that this hasn't been particularly funny so far, but what happened in that Orc lair should make up for it. When Navero first went into combat, the results were... well, shall we say, what you'd expect of him? THE PARTY SO FAR: Navero, 1st level Human cleric Dania, 1st level Half-elf MU "The Cusinart", 1st level Drow Cavalier Rizudo, 1st level Human fighter "Dark and Deadly", 1st level Drow Assassin Sadly, this was a few years ago, and most of these characters are no longer with us, and I do not remember all of their names. To be continued.... Dan Parsons "But please tell me: What's an Orc?" NAVERO1 Newsgroups: rec.games.frp Subject: More Humerous Situations: Navero II Reply-To: dparsons@jarthur.UUCP (Daniel Parsons) Distribution: usa Organization: Harvey Mudd College, Claremont, CA Keywords: The adventures of Navero, of the Correct and Unalterable Way I believe that the last time I posted, I had just reached the point where Navero and Dania joined the party, which is now comprised of five people: Navero, Dania, Rizudo (a fighter), the Cavalier (whose name I do not recall) and an Assassin. They set out on horseback (our DM was kind enough to let starting characters have horses :-) for a small keep to the north, in the middle of a swamp, which was roumored to be having troubles with Orcs. Of course, getting there was half the fun... From the very first, we all hit it off like Nitro and Glycerin. Ever since that time, I have always felt that intra-party fighting should be normal at first. People who go out adventuring tend to be confident in themselves, and as such do not work well with others, at first, if they feel thay can do it better alone. There are, of course, exceptions, and this strongly individual streak should wear out in time as the party members get to know and trust each other. But at first, for the party members to work together well is not realistic, and our party was no exception to this. The first day we were togethor, there were three actual fights between members - weapons drawn, and once blows exchanged. We hurt ourselves more than the monsters would for a week. Anyway, we were travelling North to the keep, and found our first "real" combat. This is the first time Navero got to strut his stuff in a fight, and it's not a coincidence that it is the first time he nearly died. We had passed through a very poor hamlet, which an old woman told us was poor because of a ravenous beast that would periodically descend from the sky, and slay and eat and carry off children. The Cavalier: "A DRAGON! It must be! At last, a foe worthy of my mettle! We must leave at once; these impoverished people's lives depend upon the aid we can give them. The beast must be slain, and its treausre looted." Navero: "Well, we should help, of course. Do you think we can just convince it not to eat the villagers? I read that Dragons can talk. That would be a much better way to take care of the problem, and then maybe it could eat fish or something and everyone would be much happier." (A short pause ensued.) Rizudo: "I don't know about this, kids. Dragons are dangerous, ya know. Why don't we all just go away and let them sort things out?" Dania: "Because Dragons have lots of money." Rizudo: "Well, I guess that settles it. We should get to know each other better, babe. Your'e a chick after my own heart." The Assassin: "With a large knife..." And so our heroes bravely rode forth to do battle. Of course, they first had to find their opponent, which proved somewhat difficult as they were in a swamp. Time passed, and evening came, and the Cavalier waxed sorley pissed. The Cavalier: "Where is the beast? One might almost think it afraid of me." Rizudo: "Maybe it's female. Women run away from you, ya know." At this point, we all heard a great flapping of wings, and looked up to see the evening sky blotted out by a great leathery shape... It was a dragon, or something very closely akin, although it had only 2 legs and was lumpy about the head. Whatever it was, Navero was quite horrified, his arms felt weak, his heart fialed, and he began uttering prayers to the Lords of the Correct and Unalterable Way. It was an instinctual reaction, one born of the years of his cloistered life, and of course he made his prayers as long and as loud as he could... Dania: "NAVERO, SHUT UP!! IT'LL HEAR YOU... oh shit." One beady red eye cocked in our direction. Slowly, with ancient grace, the thing turned in midair, and came shrieking into the middle of the party like a bat out of hell. The Cavalier charged foreward to meet it; Rizudo ran away; Dania popped off a magic missile and ran away; The Assassin was long gone. Navero remained; his horse had thrown him and run, leaving him on his butt in a puddle staring at the monster coming right at him. He suddenly remembered that today was St. Kilgurian's Day, and he had forgotten to say the proper prayers that morning. The great Beast slammed to the ground, by some miracle not landing on anyone, it's leathery wings about it, covering the road in smelly shadow. With a mighty shout that sounded pitifully small to Navero, the Cavailier charged the beast with his lance; it broke. A crossbow bolt came out of the bushes, and struck it in the flank; it seemed annoyed. Realizing that the beast was the implacale embodiment of all that was evil in the world, Navero roused himself and took out the flanged mace Father Gilliam gave him, and aimed such a mighty blow at its ridged back that when it bounced off, it hit Navero square in the face for 1 point of damage. (Critical fumble.) The beast tried to bite the Cavalier, but it missed; it's tail strike did not miss, but killed his horse and stunned him. The thing then looked around at Navero. Rizudo: "We can't let it kill the medic! Wizard-bitch! Zap it again! And you, whats-her-face, do something or get your ass out of here." Dania: "Fuck you, asshole. Get in there and do something with that sword." Rizudo: "You want to see my sword in action? Now is harldy the time, but I'll take you up on it later. What do you use that staff for, anyway?" The Assassin: Considers killing Rizudo, decides against it. The Cavalier roused himself, and once again valiantly took to the fray. He struck twice, with two longswords, and miraculously both found soft spots in the thing's scarred scales, wounding it! Navero struck again, and this time merely hit the ground beside it. The beast then tried to bite Navero; it succeded beyond its wildest dreams, inflicting 13 points of damage to an otherwise inoffensive young priest. Navero dropped with a thump and heard no more of the mighty battle. He woke several hours later, to the sweet voices of his comrades in arms. Rizudo: "Look, kid. Don't ever go charging in like that again. Your'e supposed to be healing US. Or do you have a thing about swinging your stick around?" Dania: "Yeah. Leave the fights to the experts." The Cavilier: "Good advice under any circumstances. While your presence may have served as a possibly useful distraction, I really did not require your aid to defeat the monster. After my first strokes, all the fight seemed to leave it, so powerful was my thrust." Rizudo: "Yep. There was also that poisoned dart we found in it mouth, too." The Cavalier: "Tut. Dragons are immune to poison." * * * Our "dragon" was actually a very old Wyvern, that had lost an eye and its poison tail barb in past fights. It was preying on the villagers because it was to decrepit to catch anything else. But to a first level party, such beasts would seem as dragons indeed. We found no treasure, and soon went on our merry way. Dan Parsons "I didn't know Dragons were that rubbery." NAVERO II Newsgroups: rec.games.frp Subject: Navero III Reply-To: dparsons@jarthur.UUCP (Daniel Parsons) Distribution: usa Organization: Harvey Mudd College, Claremont, CA Keywords: Navero, of the Correct and Unalterable Way Lets see... We were attacked by a crippled old Wyvern, killed it with no deaths, and continued on our way to the north. Navero was the only one seriously hurt in the encounter - he went to -4 hit points, but we play that you must go to -10 to die, so he was merely dying, until he was bandaged up. He Cured Light Wounds on the Cavalier, as his religion forbade him doing so on himself while another was hurt. The biggest problem was the Cavalier's horse, which the Wyvern killed, leaving our mini-tank on foot. He had to share with Dania, the lightest person in the party, which irked him no end; but then, he was easily irked. The remainder of the journey was almost without incident. The only thing of note was the fact that Rizudo was a heavy sleeper. Rizudo: *Snore* The Cavailer: Dumps a bucket of water on Rizudo. Rizudo: "*Glub!* Huhh? Whaza fuckes goin on?" The Cavalier: "A very small raincloud. It has passed now." Our Heros arrived at Swamp Keep (Yes, that was the name) and were greeted with the customry fanfare and pomp. Guard 1: "Gor, wha' a scruffy-looking lot this is, comin' u' the road." The Cavalier: "Hail, good fellows! Run and tell your Lord and Master that we have arrived to rid your fair land of its infestation." Guard 1: "Piss off." Guard 2: "Are you the rat-catchers, then?" Rizudo: "Shut up, open the gate. We want to see your inns, your ale, and your WOMEN! After that, we wanna talk about the Orcs." Guard 3: "Why, whatever's going on here, Neville?" Guard 2: "Oh, nothing, Percy. Some gentlemen, and a few ladies too, are here and making a fuss about something. Don't worry yourself." Guard 1: "Shut up! (To Cavalier) Who are yu?" The Cavalier: "For shame, lout! Do you not recognize my device? My house is known far and wide, and has been heard of even in these impoverished lands. Come, open the gates and be quick about it; you try my patience." Guard 3: "Oh, he's not very nice, is he?" Guard 1: "Look, shrimp, all I see is a miniature buffoon ridin' with some little elf-bitch on an old horse..." Again, there commenced much sound and fury, signifying nothing. Fortunately for our quest, there was more sound than fury, and we were able to get inside (eventually). Most of us went about practical sorts of business - Navero went to pray, and recover from his injuries. Rizudo, I believe, went to find the tavern, but it was not open at that hour. The Assassin dissapeared for a while (The player who was running her was not there that day.) Dania studied spells. The Cavalier decided to go introduce himself to the Master of the Keep. He had his armor repaired and the device on his shield repainted (10gp well spent, or so he thought) and strode forth to meet the Master, who was out on his croquet lawn at that moment. The Cavalier: Strides onto croquet lawn, plants his shield firmly in the sod so the device is plainly visible. "Greeings, Lord and Master of this fine Castle." Master: "Oh! My croquet lawn! You've dented it! Wahhh..." Courtier: "Oh, its alright, Eric. Just breathe calmly, now, and relax. Everything will be just fine." The Cavalier: "Uh... I wish to introduce myself. I..." Courtier: "Not now! Can't you see what you've done? Get out: just go, or I'll put the hounds on you!" And so the day passed for our heroes. When night came, many of the party retired to the only tavern, a rather miserable one. Navero did not go to the tavern, of course; he had gone out among the townsfolk, and happened upon one who had wounded himself with an axe and was bleeding to death; Navero cured the hurt, and the grateful family was only too happy to put him up for the night. He quietly discussed religious matters with them, particularly their salvation and the joys of life in the Correct and Unalterable way, and although they were very polite, most of the family seemed to ignore him. The only exception was their young daughter, who payed a lot of attention to him. While he was pleased at the opportunity to spread the faith, she didn't really pay much attention to what he said; she just looked at him strangely, and sat uncomfortably close, and took every possible opportunity to touch him, which made Navero very uncomforatble. (As explanation, I should note that Navero has CHARISMA 13, COMELINESS 16. The DM rolled the young lady a LUST score of 17.) And so night passed, and morning came. Dan Parsons "Oh, you're injured! Let me take off all your clothes..." NAVERO III Newsgroups: rec.games.frp Subject: Navero IV Reply-To: dparsons@jarthur.UUCP (Daniel Parsons) Distribution: usa Organization: Harvey Mudd College, Claremont, CA Keywords: Navero, of the Correct and Unalterable Way After a good nights sleep (yes - even for Navero) we all met at the castle gate, and went to see the Keep Master to tell him of our plans and secure his permission in our endeavour. At the door to his chambers, we met a pair of his elite guardsmen. Guard 1: "Oh, It's those awful people from the gate yesterday. Send them away, please, they gave me a terrible tension headache." Dania: "Oh, . We are here to see the Lord and Master of this Keep, so that we can get his permission to go out and kill all the orcs in his lands." The Cavalier: "Open the doors. And do be quick about it; we haven't all day." Guard 2: "Orcs? Oh, yah, them. You in'rested in 'em, li'l lady? They'd take a real fancy to yu! Now bugger off." Dania: "Why? You don't want to loose any of your relatives?" Guard 1: "How did you ever know about that?" Navero: "Please, please listen to me. Tales of the terrible deeds of this band of pillagers have reached our ears in our own lands, and our hearts do truly go out to you in your plight. We have come here with our only thought to aid you, and promise to you that, by whatever means, these terrible people shall no longer trouble your community with their harrasment and evil. We beg of you, please allow us to enter that we may seek the blessings of the castle Lord, and ride as your emmisaries." Guard 1: "Oh, he's sweet." Rizudo: "And then we'll kill 'em all. And we expect to be paid, too." Navero: "Killing them should be a last resort, one to which we fall when all hope is lost." Rizudo: "Yeah, right. C'mon, let us in." The Cavalier: "Indeed. I am unaccustomed to being kept waiting by servants." Guard 2: "SHUT UP! I'm wornin' yu, be outa my sight, or I'll set tha dog on ya." Dania: "A dog? _A_ dog? Oh, watch me quake with fear!" Rizudo: "I'll watch you shake anytime. Shake and bounce and quiver with.." Navero: "Uh.... May I please ask you to stop, um... I mean..." Rizudo: "Yeah, what?" Navero: "Uh... Never mind." Guard 1: "Oh, you've frightened him. That wasn't very nice. Your'e a brute." Guard 2: "SHUT UP ALL O' YU!! Right! Tha dog it is, then! Rog!! Open the dog's door." Guard 1: "Are you sure? You know what a time we had getting him back in there the last time you let him out..." The party heard the clanking of chains and the groan of wood, and looked to the wall beside them to see another door was being opened. A very low growl shook the battlements, and the guard settled back with a satisfied smirk. We all retreated rather rapidly, except for the Cavalier. The Cavalier: "A dog, then? I hope I can ammuse myself with it. And after that, I shall deal with another dog which lies within my view, to his great sorrow, for trying the patience of..." At this point, Rizudo hit him over the head with a large block of stone, rendering him unconcious, and we all went into a full retreat. We never did see the dog, and I'm not even sure there ever was one, as that guardsman certianly did laugh a lot. I should note that we had to get a private room for bandaging the Cavaliers head; he is a Drow, and normally wears his helmet constantly, and we did not wish to advertise his origins. This altercation left us with few alternatives. Do we go for the Orcs anyway? Do we leave, an hope something better comes along? Or do we all go our seperate ways? Navero, of course, pointed out that we would have to go for the orcs anyway, just because it was the only right thing to do. He had spoken to the family he spent the night with about the Orcs, and they seemed supportive of the idea of someone stopping them. Rizudo expressed the hope that they would have enough treasure to make it all worth it, a point on which Dania and the Assassin agreed. Navero: "I realize that money can be useful, but it shouldn't be the only motive. Why is it that some people will risk their lives for it, but not for each other?" Rizudo: "Thats because people aren't worth shit, Nav. Someday you'll learn that. Take our insensible companion here..." Dania: "Best description of him I've heard." The Assassin: "Most people are useful, in one way or another, but pass away after only a short time. Truly lasting monuments cannot be built on weak flesh, but must be dedicated to something more lasting." Navero: "But..." The Cavalier: "Owww.... What struck me? Was it the Dragon?" Rizudo: "Nope. A very small hailstorm. But it's gone now." The Cavalier: "By my troth, I do think YOU hit me. You shall answer for it right now, you unworthy..." Dania: "Please, lie down. I saw quite clearly that Rizudo didn't hit you. It was a horrible beast that moved so fast, it was but a blur. We were barely able to pull you away from it." The Cavalier: "I did not see it at all." Rizudo: "That's because you were wearing your helmet." The Cavalier: "Priest! Do they speak truth? If they do not they shall pay dearly for it." Navero: "Ummm... No..Ye..N..Ye... Rizudo never touched you. A rock did." The Cavalier: "A rock?" Navero: "A rock from the battlements." The Cavalier: "I was struck down by a stone that fell from the battlements? Mage, I forgive you your lie. I am ashamed to know I was downed by such an ignoble accident. It is good that you thought to spare me the knowledge." Dania: "Right." The Cavalier: "Well, I must seek some way to redeem myself. We must go to the Orc den; there may I erase this failure with the blood of evil creatures." Rizudo: "Ok." Navero: "Um... Do we have to kill them?" Rizudo: "Nav, Orcs are not going to sit down and parley." The Cavalier: "Yes; they are notoriously unreasonable." Navero: Our heroes secured their mounts, and rode off into the swamp in the direction the Orcs usually came from. How easy would it be for an entire band of Orcs to hide in a swamp? Dan Parsons "I feel bad about this. I wish Father Lucius were here." NAVERO IV Newsgroups: rec.games.frp Subject: Navero V Reply-To: dparsons@jarthur.UUCP (Daniel Parsons) Distribution: usa Organization: Harvey Mudd College, Claremont, CA Keywords: Navero, of the Correct and Unalterable Way .... And our heroes went riding off into the marshes, looking for the Orc band. It isn't easy to hide an entire band of Orcs, and this proved no exception to that. Their tracks were quite visible on the paths and runs, and we followed them back to a large cavern in a limestone rock formation. We did not enter immedeately; instead, we sat, and watched, and argued some more. This we did happily for some time, until we were spotted by a patrol, who were naturally not happy to see us. There were only 2 Orcs, and we spotted them almost as soon as they saw us. Orc 1: "Hu gudiier nouds?" Orc 2: "Sliimsuka! Jacxoffss wit." Navero: "Oh, ick! What are those things over there?" Dania: "Orcs! Get 'em!!" The Cavalier: "GLORY AND DEATH! GLORY AND DEATH!" HackMaimShredDestroySliceChopCrushSmashMurderIrkAnnoyVexIrritateInconvenience Game Master: You succeed in wounding an Orc. The other runs away. Dania: "Stop him! He'll tell all the others!" The Cavalier: "I ride off after the Orc and outdistance him. I do not spear him in the back, as that is unworthy of me. I challenge him to stand and fight like slime." Game Master: How? Your horse is dead, remember. The Cavalier: "I...." Rizudo: "I shoot him in the back with my crossbow." Game Master: Did you have it ready? I don't remember you saying so. Rizudo: "Of course it's ready! I'm not stupid!" *Big, pleading grin* Game Master: Ok. Roll to hit. Rizudo: Ah, I roll a 3. Shit. Dania: "Your'e all incompetent. I 'magic missile' it." Game Master: Ok. (rolls dice) It stumbles, but does not fall, and is rapidly loosing itself in the trees. Rizudo: "Don't you have a 'Hold Person' spell, priest?" Navero: "But I don't speak Orcish..." The Assassin: "It's out of range for dart throwing, isn't it?" Game Master: Uh, yes. Anything else? Oh, (rolls dice) you notice the wounded Orc is trying to crawl off into the bushes. Navero: "I jump on it and stop it!" Game Master: "It trys to hit you. (rolls dice) It does. Take 5 hit points. Navero: "Ouch!" Rizudo: "I kill it. I guess its up to me to clean up after yon Knight's incompetence." The Cavalier: "I shall ignore that. Consider yourself fortunate." Dania: "Did the other one get away? Shit! Pretty soon, they'll be all over the place. We better get out of here." The Cavalier: "We cannot run from a bunch of Orcs! You can, but I refuse." Navero: "And what about all the damage they would do if we don't stop them?" Dania: "Navero, come on. We can't take all of them..." The Cavalier: "The devil you say! I move we take them by surprise, right now, while they are still trying to organize themselves." Rizudo: "Now listen, kids. Our position here isn't exactly ideal. Why don't we go tell the guys in the keep that we saw the Orcs coming? Then we'll get a bunch of men-at-arms to go with us to meet them." The Cavalier: "I refuse to rely on an unruly bunch of peasants swinging farm implements." Navero: "Why stir up many men, when only one voice is equal to the task?" The Assassin: "It's getting dark. They will soon be about. We'd better go." Dania: "Yes. C'mon, guys." The Cavalier: "You are taking all the horses? Ah, I suppose a retreat to consider strategy would be in order. But we are not running." Dania: "Right." With our horses, we were easily able to outdistance the Orcs, and reach the keep. We saw them behind us in the marsh, and counted over 20 of them. They did not travel all the way to Swamp Keep, but threw javelins and insults at us as we fled back to relative safety. None hit. Once we reached the keep, we were accosted by the gate guards, who had heard the shouting, and taken in to see some high official whose title I have forgotten. Official: "YOU WHAT!? You rode out to spy on the Orcs, and stirred them up?" Rizudo: "Yep, and they're coming this way. And they stink, too. We need the militia, a few of your guards, so we can tidy them up a bit." Dania: "Yeah." Official: *bugeyed stare* "You... They haven't been here raiding for nearly a month... which means they won't be here for another month... and you... people... went out and deliberatley antagonized them!?" The Cavalier: "You should never bear evil so lightly." Official: "WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!?!" Navero: "Um... have we interfered with some other plans of yours?" Official: "Do you have any idea what this means?" The Cavalier: "Freedom and Glory." Dania: "Oh, shut up." The Cavalier: "I will not for the likes of you." Official: "Be quiet, all of you! (to a servant) Boy, go fetch that warrior. Now, perhaps we can salvage something out of this. How would you like to go back there and clean out those caverns right now? We have a man here, the survivor of the last group who tried it. He has been inside their cave, and may know enough to help you. He is supposedly a capable fighter and bowman. I believe he comes from the northern regions." With this, a very large figure stomped into the room. You might say that he did not believe in personal hygeine. You might also say that he needed no announcement. He was well over 6 feet and had a huge sword over his shoulder, and a long bow on his back. Official: "Kortul, you had expressed a desire to have another try at the Orcs once your wounds healed. Well, I would like to ask you to serve as a guide to this group, which has the same purpose in mind. Will you do it." Kortul: (Looks group over. Sneers.) *Grunt.* Official: "Very good. Well, I wish you luck. And if you fail, don't come back. After this, if they don't kill you, some here may wish to do so themselves." And with that cheery thought, we spent the night and rose early to go out and finish the job. Although at some point, the Assassin dissapeared during the night. Apparently, she had had quite enough of us all, and went elsewhere to seek greener pastures. (Actually, the player dropped out of the group, as he had too much work to do. But thats not as much fun.) Dan Parsons "I read about the 'great unwashed' but I never expected to see one." NAVERO V Newsgroups: rec.games.frp Subject: Navero VI Reply-To: dparsons@jarthur.UUCP (Daniel Parsons) Distribution: usa Organization: Harvey Mudd College, Claremont, CA Keywords: Navero, of the Correct and Unalterable Way NOTE: I finally went out and found out what the name of that damn Cavalier was. Even the player had some trouble remembering: Rourk Ravensbane, a seemingly un-elven sort of name, but he's Drow, which sort of explains it. The Party Currently: Navero, 1st level human cleric Dania, 1st level 1/2-wood elf MU Rourk Ravensbane, 1st level Drow Cavalier Rizudo, 1st level human fighter Kortul, 1st level human fighter We went riding into the marshes, early in the morning; we expected to reach the Orcs cavern by that afternoon. Our trek through the marshes was largely uneventful, except for a bunch of 6-armed squirrel-like monkeys who would stare at us from the trees, and throw things. Rizudo once tried to hit one, but they were impossibly fast. When we neared the cave, we left our horses tethered about 100 yards up the path, and snuck up on foot; within, a number of eyes seemed to peer out, but did not see us. Rizudo: "Well, kids, what do we do with 'em?" Rourk: "We can take them now. Pardon me while I prepare myself." Dania: "What did the caves look like, Kortul?" Kortul: "Dark, damp. Didn't get far; hit deadfall near entrance, killed 3, Orcs finished rest." Rourk: "And you ran." Kortul: *Fumes* "Quiet, munchkin." Navero: "Maybe if we can get them out of the cave into daylight..." Rizudo: "Yeah! Good idea! We smoke them out, then kill them as they come running from the cave." Navero: "Uh..." Rourk: "A poor strategy. The cave is probably ventilated." Dania: "Right. They must have another entrance anyway." Navero: "Uh..." Rizudo: "Look, these are Orcs, remember? Shit-for-brains? How much of a problem do you think they'll be to fake out?" Kortul: "Stupid." *Disgusted look at Rizudo* Navero: "Uh..." Rizudo: "Are you saying it won't work, o your mightiness?" Kortul: "Might. Probably not." Rizudo: "Well then, lets go get a bunch of wood!" Dania: "Only dead wood, now." (Remember, she is half-wood elf, and feels somewhat protective of trees.) Rourk: "Dead wood will not make enough smoke. It must be big, green logs." Dania: "I'd rather you not chop down trees, dear. Besides, you wouldn't want to dishonor your blades with mere wood." Rourk: "Kortul, I precieve, has a hand axe. And we can use his blade if necessary. One so large and unwieldy is of little use otherwise." Kortul: Snarls. And so, we began uprooting saplings and chopping down small trees. Dania ran about for a little bit, pleading or threatening or smacking us with her staff, but the 3 warriors ignored her and soon assembled a pile of green wood. Navero, having no great feelings about trees, tried to comfort Dania with the argument that it seemed necessary, but she ignored him. By now, it was late afternoon. We gathered the wood into a large pile on a hill before the cave mouth; we could feel eyes on us, but we were out of range of any but powerful longbows, which we were sure the Orcs did not possess. We doused it with lantern oil, lit it, and let it get to burning nice and smoky. Then we sent it all rolling downhill into the cave. We got lucky; most of it went in, but not so far in that we couldn't see it. We sat on the hill; any Orc who appeared to put the fire out was shot. They eventually tried throwing water on from further back in the cave, but this didn't seem to do much good. The wood smoked merrily, but as evening approached, no Orcs came fleeing out. It wasn't working. Dania: (Much grumbling and swearing) "Murderers." Rizudo: "Oh, be quiet. You're getting on our nerves. Why don't you go play with yourself or something? Put that staff to good use." Dania: "Go fuck yourself, asshole. Whatcha gonna do now? Throw in some squirrel-monkeys?" Rourk: "Perhaps if we offer them a magic-user." Navero: "No! You can't do that!" Everyone: Stare at Navero Navero: "I mean..." Dania: "The sun is setting, guys. Got any bright ideas what to do?" No one did. Instead, we sat on the hilltop and argued until our conversation was rudely interrupted by the sound of wings flapping. BIG wings. Big, leathery wings that seemed right overhead. Suddenly, from over the hill that the cave was in, a great shape appeared. It looked like the Wyvern, but it had four legs and was larger, and colored a great oily black. The party scattered. Everyone but Rourk ran to hide in the trees and bushes; he whistled for his dead horse, which did not appear, and then took his stand in the middle of the clearing. The Dragon (for thats what it was this time, boys and girls) did not attack, but merely soared over the clearing, horrible and proud, watching us from above. Rourk was about to call it a coward, when a javelin whizzed past his helmet, and he saw nearly 20 Orcs were charging towards him. Rourk: "Ah, they are finally coming out. I shall go get my horse." (Runs) Dania: "Thats *my* horse!" (Runs after him) Navero: "Kortul, do you know the Orcish word for 'Stop'?" Kortul: "Hudsdg. Let's get horses." Dania easily outdistanced the heavily armored Cavalier; she reached her horse and rode off. Navero was the second to reach the horses, and went riding off after Dania, not wishing to see her get hurt. The Cavalier took Kortuls horse; Kortul remained on foot, and Rizudo hid in a tree. At this point, things became somewhat chaotic, with four seperate units of party running around, and so I will try to take things on an individual basis. Rizudo: Hid in the tree for most of the battle. Only the fact that all the other party members were making so much noise kept him from being found. After it was over he claimed to have killed 6 Orcs. Kortul: Picked off a few with his bow from the bushes, then crept about in the darkness, using his two-handed sword to kill more. I use the term 'crept' lightly; sneaking in banded mail is no mean feat, especially around creatures with infravision. He was on foot and alone, and so presented the ideal target for the Orcs; nonetheless, he was able to move fast enough not to be overborn, and dispatched 8 Orcs while taking no damage himself. Eventually, they ran away and left him alone. (I was playing both Kortul and Navero. I was rolling extremelly well for Kortul, which may surprise you when you see how Navero did.) Rourk: Got onto Kortul's big horse with some difficulty, and charged down the paths of the swamp, using his lance to great effect, until he found an individual whom he considered to be the Chief. This worthy he dismounted and challenged to personal combat. That worthy looked at him like he was some sort of joke, and whistled at the sky. Nothing happened for a moment, and so Rourk charged to do battle. "GLORY AND DEATH! GLORY AND DEATH!" Then, he heard wings again. Realizing at once that here was a foe far more worthy of him, he turned to face the beast, realizing that only his valour could defeat it. The Dragons attack was not fussy or frilly; it simply landed on him, grinding him into the mud. The Orc chief patted its nose and told it it was a good boy, which Rourk found quite surprising. Rourk: "The Orc Chief said WHAT? And it didn't kill him?! Must be a very young, stupid Dragon. Are both my arms pinned?" Game Master: No, one is free. Rourk: "I stab the Dragon and tell it to get off of me." Would you believe he got a critical hit? And that his next stab was also a critcal? He didn't kill it, though. Bleeding, it flew away into the swamp, blubbering and calling for it's mother. The Orc Chief took one look at this and ran off, leaving our hero flushed with pride, beaming to himself. Damn, I'm good. Dania and Navero: Dania went riding into the woods, looking for a place where she could be of some use. Navero went riding off after her, to protect her. They crossed over a run with 3 Orcs in it; Dania rode down one, but the others stayed up and took swings at Navero. Navero did 'comand - stop' on one, using the new word he had just learned, and the other fortunately missed. They rode into the trees, when suddenly another group of 3 Orcs jumped up in front of them, frightening the horses and bringing them to a halt. Navero realized he would have to fight. They were charging up with swords in their hands and blood in their eyes, and he had to protect his friend. Navero swung his mace at an Orc trying to grab his reins. Critical Fumble - he brained his horse. "oops" he thought as he landed face-first in the mud. Dania smacked one with her staff, but another stabbed her for 1 hit point. Yelling, Navero charged through to her defense, determined to carry the day despite adversity. Critical Fumble - he brained her horse. The Orcs started laughing. Dania ran away, with Navero right behind her. The Orcs started to chase them, so Dania turned and magic missiled one in the face. Navero hit a tree. The remaining two somehow missed. After quite a few rounds of this, both orcs somehow lay dead. I believe that Navero actually hit his target once during the encounter, and did something like one hit point of damage. After it was done, they both stood for a moment to collect themselves, Navero staring at the ground, and Dania staring at Navero. Then, she began to speak. Dania: "YOU FUCKING IDIOT!!! What the fuck do you think you were doing?!?! You asshole, I ought break your stupid head off! GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY GODAMN LIFE!!! I hate your ancestors, your teachers, everything, you sorry excuse little moronic... LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE, I don't ever want to see you again in my entire godammed life, you ! Just keep the fuck away from me! go somewhere else! leave, you moron!! TRY to describe your , complete, and utter STUPIDITY!! You incompetent! You idiot! You clumsy... IDIOT! Arghhh....! I hate you!! I hate the sight of you! STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME AND NEVER COME NEAR ME AGAIN!! DO YOU UNDERSTAND!?!?!?" Navero stood in numb silence. Mud crept up around his shoes. His mace hung loosely from one hand. Tears streaked down his face. Navero: "But.... but your'e the only friend I have." She stared at him. Her whole body was clenched like a fist, knuckles white on her staff. What could she say? She stared and stared and stared. She wanted to kill him. He honestly deserved it. He was... He did... Dania: "Oh, shit. Come on Nav, lets go get the Orcs, OK?" She walked off into the forest, confused and angry and depressed all at the same time, pointedly ignoring the dead horses. Navero, utterly confused but somehow kind of happy, followed after. And so, our heros routed the band of Orcs. Those who survived, including the chief, fled into the marshes, and were not seen again. All that was left now was the cave. Dan Parsons "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to." "It's ok. Forget it. I know you didn't. It's ok." NAVERO VI Newsgroups: rec.games.frp Subject: Navero VII Reply-To: dparsons@jarthur.UUCP (Daniel Parsons) Distribution: world Organization: Harvey Mudd College, Claremont, CA Keywords: Navero, of the Correct and Unalterable Way And so... The party got itself reorganized, and wounds were bandaged, the Cavalier healed, and the dead horses not mentioned. Everyone proceeded on foot into the big, spooky cave, looking for the Orcs treasure... The first thing we encountered was the need for a light. Navero had fortunately brought a lantern. (Navero would soon develop the habit of carrying everything he might conceivably need on a trip.) We walked past the still-smoking wood, to discover a large vent within the entrance hall itself; our smoke was all going right out. Further back in the cave was a rusty iron gate; behind this gate we saw at least one Orc, watching us. We decided to throw a Molotov cocktail, to take it and any others that might be there. The DM rolled a save for the clay pot the oil was in; it didn't break. The Orc picked it up and threw it back at us. It didn't break again. We ripped out the burning rag and watched the Orc run away. Kortul the Mighty Barbarian Type (who has 18/98 strength) wrenched open a gap in the bars, and shortly therafter we discovered that it could have been raised up quite easily. Sigh. We decided to proceed immedeately, but some dispute came up over the marching order. Rourk: "I shall go in first, naturally." Kortul: "Better I go. Know caves better." Rourk: "I recall that YOU didn't get much beyond the entrance." Kortul: "You guard the rear, keep the priest and mage safe." Rourk: "I think not." Kortul: "Back there, munchkin. Let men go first." Rourk: "You try my patience, barbarian. If you wish to repulse them through sheer malodorousness, I must admit that you have an advantage over me. But in the arts of combat I am the acknowledged superior, so remove your clumsy bulk from my path!" Dania: "Look, will someone just go in?" Rourk: "Shut up. You may guard the rear. Perhaps you can make up for your previous failure some other time, when it is less vital to the survivial of others..." Rizudo: "Oh, hell." (Walks through gate.) Kortul went after Rizudo, who was now standing in some sort of great hall. It was mostly empty, apart from piles of straw and rags, sacks, and a great deal of smoked meat near the south wall. There were 3 other exits; one to the North (we came from the west), one South, and a big one to the East. The one to the east was peculiar; the Orcs had built a huge fence or barrier, with big spikes smeared with some gummy resin all through it. It was angled so as to keep something from beyond from getting in. Something big. We decided to leave it aloe, and went to check out the south. Again, the argument over who goes first, solved by Navero wandering down the tunnel. Navero: "Hello?" Orcs: "GURTTIO!! KILLGT FUIORSDT UNGOWAA GITCHE GUMEE!!" Navero: "Eeep!" (Runs) He came wandering back quite quickly, with about 20 Orcs on his heels. Fortunately, these were all women and child orcs, and so we were victorious against them. Kortul was hit in the face with a soup ladle, and the Cavalier suffered badly knawed-on ankles. Game Master: You slay all the women and children. Truly, a heroic effort. Down south, there was nothing of interest. No money, nothin'. We went up north. After much searching, we hit a trap. It was a big pit that opened up beneath the lead party member (Rizudo again) dropping him 15' onto a smooth floor. He was injured, but noticed that there was something down there: a level on one wall. He decided to go over and pull the lever down. A large section of the ceiling fell into the pit, neatly fitting into the hole, providing a smooth surface that the rest of the party could walk over, except that at one end it was an inch or two higher. So long, Rizudo. We mourned for the required seconds, and Navero gave him the last rites, or tried to, and then went about our business. In the northern caves, we found a few trinkets, and about 500 gp in loose change. Also a dwarven prisoner, who was unconcius and remained so all the way back. Must run. I fear that this is somewhat rushed. Does anyone like this so far? I haven't heard anything about it. Is everyone ignoring me? Dan Parsons "He was a... good man. Sometimes. Maybe." NAVERO VII Newsgroups: rec.games.frp Subject: Navero VIII Reply-To: dparsons@jarthur.UUCP (Daniel Parsons) Distribution: world Organization: Harvey Mudd College, Claremont, CA Keywords: Navero, of the Correct and Unalterable Way Last time, we explored the Orc caverns, Rizudo died in an idiot trap, (such traps turned out to be very effective against our party), and we found a dwarven prisoner and about 500gp in assorted loose change. There were also various weapons, armors, all in fair condition, but nothing we didn't already have enough of. Somewhat dissapointed, we went back to the great hall, and stared over the east barrier; beyond, we could see a little bit of a large cavern, which seemed utterly devoid of life. However, we were not about to go over and start exploring; first, we would have to go back to Swamp Keep, report that the Orcs were gone, and claim the rewards that we so richly deserved. Guard 1: "Aw, shit, its them again." Dania: "Will you PLEASE just open the goddamned gate for once? You know who we are." Guard 2: "Look, yu. Yu go' a might big fa' hed there, l'il lady. Now, be nice, an' maybe I'll le' ya in." Rourk: "We are not amused at your attempts at humor. And our patience is wearing quite thin. This ill-treatment of those who should be your honoured guests speaks volumes of this pitiful place. I demand that you open the gates at once!" Guard 2: "Say please." Kortul: Punches Guard 2. Guard 2 drops unconscious. Guard 1: "Oh, good. He's been especially crass this morning. Roger! Could you open the gate for these lovely people, and put Mungo to bed?" Roger: (From above) "Is he out cold?" Guard 1: (Checks guard 2) "Yes, he is. Lovely, isn't it?" Roger: "Quite." And so we entered the keep. Naturally, the first thing did was get ourselves healed to full strength (We use a spell-point based magic system, and Navero had just enough spell points for everyone.) We then went to go see the official we had spoken to the previous day, to report on our success and see to our reward (A reward had been promised; I forgot to mention it.) Official: "You succeeded? Wonderful! I really can't tell you how happy we all are to hear that. They came about every couple of months; they used to stay away from the keep completely, but since all the caravans started travelling on the North road, they have given us their attentions. The lord of the Keep will naturally wish to see you." Rourk: "Think nothing of it. It was childs play." Official: "Ah. Well: did you bring the Chief's head with you?" Rourk: "The coward fled into the swamp, and so I was unable to obtain it for you. Rest assured that if we meet again, the oversight shall be corrected." Official: "Did you bring any heads back? Or hands, or ears...?" Navero: "That's... kind of barbaric, I mean, mutilation of the bodies?" Official: "...So you have no actual proof that you ever went near the Orcs?" Dead silence. Kortul: "Stupid." Rourk: "You doubt my word? Those who do learn not to." Kortul: "Real stupid." Official: "I, of course, believe every word you say. However, the Lord of the Keep is a hard man to please. He will want to be certain. I must say, that under these circumstnaces, seeing his Lordship would be out of the question. And, of course, the status of your reward money is placed somewhat in jeapordy..." Navero: "Well, there's the money we found in the *ow!* (Dania drives her staff into Navero's foot.) Official: "What's this?" Dania: "My young friend here was just saying how short on cash we were. Would it please you if we were to go back and get battle tokens?" Rourk: "We may find a few more, if you absolutely insist upon this matter." Navero: "oww..." Official: "Yes, I think that would be the best thing for you to do. A word, children; 'foresight makes all matters go to your advantage.' Now please go finish your task." We did spot one other Orc out in the marshes; it was not the Chief. Kortul killed it with arrow shots. We collected all the right ears we could still find, even the females and children. It was a very unpleasant task, and accomplished hurriedly. The total came to 32; not bad. We arrived back at the Keep that night. Guard 1: "Oi, this lot. Fuck it, le' 'em in." As even officials need to sleep, we decided to be nice and not bother the government people until morning. Instead, Kortul, Rourk, and Dania went to the only tavern, where they saw a few familiar faces. The first was that of the rescued Dwarf, whom they had dropped off at the inn; he had recovered enough to go down to the common room, and wished to thank his rescuers. His name was Arlor. The second was a mercenary-looking type who rather resembled the late and largely unlamented Rizudo; this worthy turned out to be his twin brother Razudi, who wished to hear of his brothers death. Rourk: "So, Dwarf, you were captured by the Orcs while trying to steal from them. Being naturally incompetent, you were unable to fight them off or escape." Arlor: "I, um, was jus' trying to earn a liven', yup." Dania: "God, that guy looks familiar. Unpleasantly so." Razudi: "Hi there, kids! Say, you look like those idiots who were hanging around with my brother!" Rourk: "Oh, no... Please leave us at once." Razudi: "Not 'till you tell me what happened. Say, are you the little..." Dania: "Shove it, asshole." Razudi: "I see you are. Well, kids; wanna have some fun?" The remainder of their evening is best left to the imagination. Navero did not go to the tavern. While he did not approve of the others going to that place, he didn't know what to say without offending, and he desperately didn't want to offend anyone. Especially so soon after his failure in trying to protect his friend Dania. She had been so very angry, and rightly so; he had done so very much harm. They all must think so badly of him. It was very late at night. Most everyone else was indoors, asleep or otherwise, like good people should be. Navero wandered through the streets for a little while, but found nothing that required his aid, nothing for him to help. Once a patrol of night watchmen passed by, and eyed him with obvious suspicion. He went to the only temple in the town, which was consecrated to some Defender goddess he did not recognize. He apologized to the goddess, as she was not of The Order and he had no right to be in her place, found a prayer alcove, and curled up and went to sleep. Dan Parsons "Forgive me, Lords, for I have tried and failed. Again." NAVERO VIII Newsgroups: rec.games.frp Subject: Navero IX Reply-To: dparsons@jarthur.UUCP (Daniel Parsons) Distribution: world Organization: Harvey Mudd College, Claremont, CA Keywords: Navero, of the Correct and Unalterable Way A short pause whilst I pontificate: Thank you to everyone who sent mail. Thank you to everyone who sent comments. I must admit, the story has become rather less humorous than it used to be, but that is completely intentional, I assure you. In reality, the humor did settle down once the Orc chase started in earnest - somehow, when we had something to actually do, the jokes died down a bit and things took a more serious tone. The funniest segments seemed to come between adventures. One suggestion was a Dramatis Personae at the beginning of each posting, as many people have trouble keeping the characters straight. This might be a good idea, especially as the party gets to be larger than five people. I believe the most we ever had in the party at one time is eight; _I_ would need a list to keep them all straight at that point. Also, some of you have told me how sad you were that Rizudo died in the idiot trap. He was not mourned long - Razuli came in [sorry I mispelled it last time :-(]; he was run by the same player, had the same stats, and the same personality. Basically, he decided to start Rizudo over, rather than come up with a new character. He is gone, yet he is with us. :-) And finally, to the individual who commented on Dania's "lecture" to Navero at the end of Navero VI: A "lecture"? That was a full-bore rant if I ever heard one. The player was actually yelling at me for almost a minute (how's that for role-playing) using most of her very impressive vocabulary. If you consider that a "lecture" I would hate to hear a "reprimand." AND NOW FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT... The following morning, we all assembled in the official's office. There was a great deal of yelling and screaming, but the end result was that we didn't get to go see his Lordship, we didn't get public fame, and we got only half the reward, as we had left the Chief and the Dragon alive. Much grumbling followed. The DM then said that Navero, Danai, Rourk, and Kortul had gained enough experience to go to second level, but we would have to go get the requisite training. The warriors had it easy - training facilities were readily available for them. The DM kindly ruled that, in this case, Navero could go up by praying and talking with the local priests for about a month, even though they were not of The Order. Our DM generally doesn't like to sweat these things, and neither do I. However, dear Dania would have to find someone to supervise her studies in the arcane arts, and in a Keep this small, the chances of finding a mage who would apprentice her, and put up with her adventuring, seemed to be pretty dismal. Her efforts did come to fruit, in time. Dania: (To Joe Townsperson) "Excuse me, but is there a mage or wizard living around here, with whom I might speak?" Joe: "Well, there's the Wizards on High street..." Dania: "There are *several* of them? In a town this size?" Joe: "Yep, they hang around together. Don't know why you'd wanna talk to them, though." Dania: "I've got my reasons. Thank you and good day, Sir." (Walks to High street. There, she sees that the houses are all very tall, and seem to lean back, away from the street. They are painted bright colors, and have gardens with lots of colorful flowers. Violets and purples seem to be a general favorite here. She went up to a random house and knocked. A tall figure with a long white beard opened the door; surprisingly, he was not at all annoyed at the intrusion (as wizards often are), but seemed to positively beam good tidings from his beetling little brows. He was also, by the way, dressed in a very loud purple robe, with lots of polka-dots.) Dania: "Um... Hello, master Wizard? I am Dania Couliari; I have come seeking an apprenticeship." Wizard: "You have? Splendid!! I love apprentices! Especially small cute ones with pointy ears! (Poof. Flowers appear in his hand.) Have some flowers! Have some more! (Poof) Have whole bunches of them! (Poof)(Poof)(Poof)(Poof)(Poof)(Poof) Aren't flowers nice? I like this kind best. Do you like flowers, young lady?" Dania: "Actually, I have hay fever. Good day, sorry to have troubled you." Wizard: "No, no! I can't have you going away like that! You aren't happy!" Dania: "Excuse me?" Wizard: "We cannot have unhappy people in our midst... For we are THE PURPLE POLKA-DOT WIZARDS!!! We ALL want to make the whole world HAPPY!!" (All of a sudden, doors and windows all up and down the street burst open, and about 20 mages in loud, purple, polka-dotted clothing lean out.) PPW's: "YES!! HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY!!" (They all jump out and begin dancing.) Dania: stares PPW 1: "We want everyone in the world to be just as happy as we are!" All PPW's: "YES!!" (Some are doing cartwheels) Dania: STARES PPW 2: "We want the world to be a joyful place! With bright colors and flowers and singing and effervesence and glee!" All PPW's: "YES! ALL THAT!" (they make a giant pyramid, which falls, but they don't mind.) Dania: *STARES* PPW 1: "I love apprentices; don't you love apprentices?" PPW 2: "How dare you grab this one up so fast! How dare you, sir! Why, I'd horsewhip you if I had a horse!" Dania: *STARES* (Jaw drops, hits ground with audible thud.) PPW 3: "Actually, I'd much rather _she_ did that to me!" PPW 2: "Oh? Whips and chains, dear Xinjanthropus?" PPW 3: "Chains, you say? Your remark leaves me fit to be TIED!" PPW 2: "I am BOUND to strike you for that remark!" PPW 1: "Lets have no disCORD!" PPW 5: "Yes! All this over a deLINKuent!" PPW 3: "But she looks like a FAST 'UN!" PPW 1: "You have a filthy mind! At least, not a TIE-dy one!" PPW 4: "This LINE leaves me at the end of my rope!" Dania: "Uh, do you do this all the time, uh, great wizards?" (All PPW's gaze upon her, with glee in their beady little eyes.) PPW 5: "A STRAIGHT WOMAN!! SHE'S MINE!!" PPW 2: "Restraint! Julius saw her first!" PPW 1: "I'll fight you for her! Do your worst!" PPW 5: "RIGHT! Lets have at it then, Julie baby!!" (They do "rock, scissors, paper" in a furious huff. Both get rock, then both scissors, then both paper.) PPW 1: "Alright then, two out of three!" PPW 3: "Wait a minute, she's leaving. Come back!" PPW 1: "Don't leave! Can't you see I'm trying to tell you I love you? Because you remind me of you! Your eyes, your lips your hair... everything about you reminds me of you! Except you. How do you account for that?" Dania: "Sorry,gottago,kidsonthestove,bye!" (Flees) PPW 4: "Rats." PPW 5: "Do you think we sent her away unhappy?" PPW 1: "No, not at all. Look! She seems _much_ happier already." A few notes on the Purple Polka-dot Wizards: (This is 1st edition AD&D, of course) They cast Tasha's Uncontrollable Hideous Laughter as a 1st level spell, and Otto's Irresistible Dance as a 4th level spell. They are of Chaotic Good alignment. When summoning familiars, if they get a special failiar, it is not a Pseudo-dragon; they get a Faerie Dragon. Dania went to find Joe Townsperson again. Joe: "Oh, hello." Dania: "You bastard. You sick little bastard. Why didn't you tell me they were all a bunch of lunatics?!?" Joe: "Well... you didn't ask." Dania: "Well, now I AM ASKING: are there any mages in this whole godamned place who AREN'T insane?" Joe: "Well, one..." Dania: "Where? And is there anything I should know about him?" Joe: "Nobody much goes near his place, ma'am. He only gets visitors late at night. It's the big dark house on Kings road, can't miss it. He isn't a very good neighbor, ma'am, but I can say he aint any loopier than any other wizard, and less than some." Dania: "Good. Good-day." Dania trekked up to Kings road. The house was indeed unmistakeable, in it's glowering eldritch hugeness, suspended seemingly as an abomination within a polite white-housed neighborhood. Other dwellings shyed away from it's improbable obesity, while it stood in solitude, lofty and arrogant, shrouded it it's sheer weight of gloom and despair. There were no visible doors, although windows which semed to gaze into your cringing soul were scattered about in awful patterns that the mind refused to acknowledge. A neat house, but I wouldn't want to live there. Dania went looking for a door, but a disembodied voice stopped her. Voice: "I am aware of your presence. And your desires..." (A door suddenly existed, where she was sure one had not been.) Voice: "Enter freely, and of your own will." Dania entered. Beyond, there was a hallway, thin but impossibly high, whose walls were a uniform shade of grey, a disturbing grey; they seemed to shift slightly, just at the edges of your vision, but never were seen to move. The hall was longer than it looked; it took a long time to reach the end, although when she looked back, she saw it was indeed a long way back, and no door was visible. She reached the end of the hall, and stepped into a small black room. An unknown force moved her to another place, seemingly beyond the very limits of space itself. There, she saw what was presumably the master of the house. Nearly 7 feet tall, dressed in a loose robe like a sundered piece of space, and with huge hands which seemed to flow into more fingers than was acceptable. His features were a study in fascinating ugliness, riveting and commanding in their grotesquery. Master: "An apprenticeship. How amusing. How presumptuous. I haven't dealt with an apprentice since.... Ah. So your former master was Galvolin." Dania: "Uh, yes. He kicked me out when my parents did." Master: "For sleeping with a Drow? Very close-minded people. You are well rid of them. I see some potential in you, though. Interesting flares and prominences. Very well, apprentice." Dania: "Sure, thanks. Glad to be here." Master: "Of course you are. Your first task..." (A wild gesture. Space and time scream. They appear in a room.) Master: "Clean all this glassware. And I want to be able to see my face in it! After that, set the dining room table. I am expecting an important guest. Put 7 forks and 12 knives at his place." Dania: "There's enough glassware here to fill my old bedroom..." Master: "It seems that would be rather uncomforatble to sleep on. But some might find it very interesting... To work. Now!" Dania: "Yes! Very good, o my master! Chop, chop! Oh, uh..." Master: "Of course. I am perfectly aware of your other carreer. Your next assignment will involve it." Dania: "Ok. No problems." Master: "For your studies, you may peruse the library on the first floor. NONE of the others. And, after you finish here." Dania managed to complete the requisite studies, and was able to rejoin us periodically for a drink. In fact, although that one library was a mages dream, she took every possible opportunity to get out of the house. If she seemed any more morbid than usual, no one noticed. The training period passed uneventfully, leaving us rested and ready to continue in our explorations of the Orc caverns. Dan Parsons "Your hands look scaly. Is that from lots of washing?" "Lord, I hope so." NAVERO IX Newsgroups: rec.games.frp Subject: Navero X Reply-To: dparsons@jarthur.UUCP (Daniel Parsons) Distribution: world Organization: Harvey Mudd College, Claremont, CA Keywords: Navero, of the Correct and Unalterable Way The continuing sto-o-o-ry... Navero, male human cleric ("oops...") Dania, female 1/2-wood elf MU ("You idiot!") Rourk Ravensbane, male drow cavalier ("You insult me, knave.") Kortul, male human fighter (various grumbles) Razuli, male human fighter ("Well, kids, whatcha gonna do now?") Arlor, male dwarf thief ("Uh... yep. Yep. I do. Really.") Training went relatively well. Dania didn`t turn into anything more hideous than usual, and the rest of the month passed rapidly. Rested and fit, we decided to trek back to the cavern and see what it was beyond that big barrier that made the slovenly Orcs put it up. Razuli accompanyed the group, despite the assurances of the others that his presence was not necessary, and Arlor also came along. Arlor was not treated very well, I am sad to admit; the humans regarded him with indifference at best, and both elves very obviously disliked him. (The player was very quiet, and unused to our playing style, which involves lots of squabbling, as you may have noticed.) Rourk: "And another thing: you are to address me as "Sir" at all times, unless conditions demand the more appropriate title." Arlor: "You mean, uh, 'madam'?" Rourk: (Draws sword.) "If you insult me again, I shall feed you your liver." Arlor: "Sorry, sorry. Um." Navero: "I kind of don't think that was very nice, uh, Rourk." Rourk: "YOU try being NICE to this hairy little... But you are correct. I am loosing my temper over a nothing. I do apologize for disturbing your composure, priest." Arlor: "Thanks. Thanks lots." Dania: "Just be quiet, will you?" Razuli: "What are you two getting so upset about, anyway? It's OK, Arlor, they really don't mean it." Arlor: "I think they do, yup." Razuli: "No! They just feel that way about anyone shorter than they are. You see, Dania thinks you're gonna look up her robe, and Sir Snot over there was once bested by a rabid chihuahua, and it left him traumatized. We all love you. Really." Rourk: "Mercenary, my temper is short enough as it is..." Razuli: "And that's not the only thing." Rourk: "You are unworthy of notice. Begone from my sight." Navero: "I wish you didn't not like him so much. It's kind of sad." Razuli: "Kid, I've spent enough time here to know that those two are both idiots. They are pretty sad. Ignore 'em, and do what you need to." Kortul: "Dragon to the left." There was indeed a Dragon there, in the misty distance. We couldn't tell if it was the same one, and frankly didn't want to find out. At least, most of us didn't; Rourk had to be told that by the time he reached it, it would have flown away again. Navero: "I wish they wouldn't be so unkind. Especially Dania; she is a very nice person, I don't know why she's behaving like this." Razuli: "Dania? NICE? Kid, you're deluding yourself. She is better built than most elves... but that isn't what you mean, now, is it?" Navero: "Huh?" Razuli: "Never mind. (sigh) Where the hell did someone like you come from, anyway?" Navero: "From the Chapel of St. Glajmir of the Glow, under Master Luminont. And it's not good to use that name. It might attract diabolical attentions, the likes of which thy soul would quake to behold." Razuli: "Right. (chuckles)" Navero: "And you shouldn't say such degrading things about others as you do. 'Others will treat you as you see them.' And you shouldn't drink of liquorous spirits. Or fraternize with the evil or the undisciplined..." Razuli: "Nav?" Navero: "And... uh, yes?" Razuli: "Shut up. And do your job. Ok?" Navero: "But I must follow my faith." Razuli: "Fine. Do that. But you've been pretty fucking useless so far, you know, and shouldn't be giving no sermons." Navero: "But... I'm sorry. But..." Razuli: "Fine. Now shut up." We reached the cavern in due course, and went inside to the great hall. As far as we could tell, the foodstuffs had been taken, but nothing else disturbed. The barrier was intact, although the gummy resin on the stakes seemed to have degraded, and flaked off in places. The barrier was made of large logs and branches, sharpened in places, and bound together mostly with rope. Something the size of a human could scramble over it without much danger, but something much larger probably wouldn't make it. The cavern beyond was quite large; there were a few interesting rock formations, most of them broken off at the base, but the cave seemed empty and dead. Rourk: "Priest! I request of you a blessing before going in to battle the creature." Kortul: "Find creature first. Don't waste time sitting around now." Dania: "Yes, as long as we're in here, we should keep moving." Rourk: "You may explore ahead if you must. I shall be prepared." Navero: "Uh, kneel, and take off your helmet." Rourk: "I have vowed not to face others until I have proven myself worthy of it." Navero: "Oh. Well, uh... O Lords of the Correct and Unalterable Way... The true shining path of servitude and right... Please do look down on this, thy... humble servant, and give me the right and the power to instigate thy will. (Takes Rourks head between his hands) Look down upon me, thy chosen instrument, and let your will flow through me into this, our... protector, that he may have the courage... and skill... to do thy holy works. Rourk: "Very good." (Tries to rise, but Navero continues.) Navero: "Yea, though thy flesh-and-blood servants be weak, O Lords, I do ask that you forgive us all, each and every one... for our failures, be they of mercy... or of will. Please, O Lords, let our petty differences be settled between us, and may we unite to vanquish those who would move against your will." Rourk: "Amen!" (Again tries to rise, but Navero continues.) Navero: "If one of us do drag the whole down, O Lords, inspire that one with thine own strength, that he may better serve the needs of all! Let that one smite down that which divides us! Let petty hatreds and pointless greed be ended! (Shakes Rourk's helmet. Rourk's head rattles around inside.) Rourk: "Uh, priest..." Navero: "Please, O Lords! Forgive us all! We are weak and stupid and humble before your eyes! Let us also cast aside old hates, which our own STUPIDITY drives on! Yea verily, the scars of a thousand years can be healed with an act of kindness, if kindness can possibly enter the tiny minds of those who hold the hate!" (Everyone is staring at Navero. Rourk starts to feel uncomfortable.) Navero: "Let the fear of the FIRES and PAIN of your punishments sit with us ALL! Yea, illuminate us, and show us our follies! Though we be but as mortals, BLIND and STUPID, let it be within your infinite kindness to give us your wisdom, THAT WE MAY SEE OURSELVES!! And let this discord CEASE!" Dania: "Navero?" Navero: "And look DOWN and... Yes?" Razuli: "Is your robe too tight or something?" Rourk: "Perhaps it is." (Quickly jerks away and stands up.) "A good blessing. Truly, a great blessing. I thank you, priest." Navero: "Uh... yes. Uh..." (Everyone continues to stare.) Arlor: "Um..." Navero: "uh..." Kortul: "Hope yelling didn't attract monster." Razuli: "Oh, brother. That's all we need. A loudspeaker for a priest." Kortul: "Thought all priests loud-speakers. How they became priests." Rourk: "Indeed. This one can certainly make a helmet echo." Razuli: "Of course! It's easy with such a big hollow space." Rourk: (Fume...) "You are beneath contempt." Dania: "Come on, Rourk, you walked into that one. Lets go now." Rourk: "I did not. I insist upon that fact." Arlor: (giggles) Rourk: "WHAT ARE YOU LAUGHING AT!?" Arlor: "Nothin'." Our brave heroes climbed over the barrier, and down to the cavern below. There they were met by... absolutely nothing. No hungry Dragons, maniacally screaming slime monsters from the planet Sh'rue'y*ed, not even so much as a rabid Kobold. It was a huge, irregular cavern, about 60 feet across, with entrances in the north and the east sides. Our footsteps echoed, but there was no other sound. Dan Parsons "Nice place. Wouldn't want to build a house here, though." NAVERO X Newsgroups: rec.games.frp Subject: Navero XI Reply-To: dparsons@jarthur.Claremont.EDU (Daniel Parsons) Distribution: usa Organization: Harvey Mudd College, Claremont, CA Keywords: Navero, of the Correct and Unalterable Way (Sorry it's been so long since Navero X, but I have been very busy. I hate theses. And it might be a while before Navero XII too.) When last we saw our heroes... (and heroine) Navero, male human cleric, 2nd level Dania, female 1/2-elf MU, 2nd level Rourk Ravensbane, male drow cavalier, 2nd level Kortul, male human fighter, 2nd level Razuli, male human fighter, 1st level Arlor, male dwarf thief, 1st level ... they were in the large cavern just beyond the staked barrier in the Orc caverns. There were entrances in the north and east, with the entrance they came in the west. The cave was dry, dead, and uninteresting. We decided to continue; there was an immediate disagreement about which way to go, but it was eventually decided to go north. We trekked up there, and discovered another cave, only there was no floor. Instead, there was a pit filled with bubbling molten lava. The heat was quite intense, and the sulfurous gasses produced almost unbearable. Another entrance was visible, about 20 feet to the left, but we elected not to try for it. At least, most of us. Arlor: "You want me to what?" Razuli: "C'mon! It's simple! We just tie a rope around you, and you climb the wall over the lava until you reach that exit! Then, we follow you over on the rope." Arlor: "Um... climb a smooth wall over boiling lava?" Rourk: "Whatever is on the other side is sure to be very interesting. Else, there would not be any lava. Surely you do not believe it could have occured naturally in these regions! Or perhaps you do. But that does not matter; I will not allow a dwarfish coward to keep me from glory and renown." Kortul: "Too risky. Fumes could kill us. Go other way." Navero: "I don't want Arlor to go. We should go the other way. It smells very bad." Dania: "Right. Come on." Rourk: "I see. As I am outvoted, I shall go along with it. Don't say I am insensitive my companions' fears." Razuli: "Why don't you go in, Rourk? Maybe it's just an illusion and if you try, you can walk right across." Rourk: "Superior vision is well known in my family. I would not be fooled by some craven spell." Dania: "Riiiiight." So we went back to the entrance cave and went to the east. This passage was quite narrower, and so we decided it would be best to go single file. Again, the problem of marching order was ressurected. Rourk: "I do not believe such a large blade would be of much use in a small passage. This requires a delicacy and agility you lack. Besides, if you guard the rear of the group, there is less likelihood the enemy will smell us coming." Razuli: "Kids, kids! We've been over and over this before. Can't you just go in?" Kortul: "Elf incompetent. Already shown that." Rourk: "Incompetent? You have managed to impress me; that had 4 syllables in it, and I had thought such to be beyond you. But then, you would be familiar with a word used so often by those around you." Kortul: "Yes. Been around you a month, now." Dania: "Oh, Jesus Christ. Will somebody get the fuck in there?" Razuli: "Get my fuck into where?" Rourk: "I shall lead." (Strides off) (Pause.) Dania: "Do you think we should follow him?" Navero: "Well, he might meet something that might try to kill him. And we should be there." Razuli: "Yeah. Then we can all sit and laugh at him." Kortul: (Grumbles) "Come on." We all went down the eastern passage. After a short time, we saw a glow up ahead. This was coming from a pool of luminous liquid in the middle of a small cave. On the ceiling above this, there was a cluster of luminous fungi; every so often, a drop of the glowing, gummy liquid would drip off and PLOP into the pool. There were exits in the east and south. Rourk: "There you are! Humbled by my example?" Kortul: "You make good scout." Rourk: "I am the advance guard. Come here and see this discovery of mine. These mushrooms are obviously magical; what do you know of them, Mage?" Dania: "Nothing. Why should I study funguses?" Navero: "Actually, they look more like slime mold than mushrooms." Game Master: What's a slime mold? How many hit dice? Navero: "Uh... I was a gardener at the monastery. They're harmless fungi. Please don't kill them." We quickly deduced that we could dip something in the sticky fluid, and it would cling; coating an entire torch easily produced an illumination that equalled the lantern. Now having a better light source, we put out the lantern and continued on to the east. (Navero held the light, BTW.) We went walking east; the passage was wide enough for two at this point, and so there was little argument abut marching order. We went down the dark passage, which curved gradually northwards and became very dirty as it did so. We were going up a slight incline, when all of a sudden, the dirt beneath our feet burst open, and something leaped out and attacked! Rourk: "Cleric! Keep the light up!" (Cuts, hits the main body.) Navero: "I got dirt in my eyes!" Dania: "FuckingshitgoddamnbastardwhatISit" (Casts magic missile) Kortul: (Chops. Hits. Crunch.) Razuli: "A tunneler worm! I saw one in a farmer's field!" Navero: (Shoves glow-torch between it's mandibles.) Razuli: "Keep out of it's way!" (Shoves Navero into wall.) Navero: "OOF!" Thing: (Sprays acid, torch dissolves.) Rourk: "GLORY AND DEATH! GLORY AND DEATH!" (Cuts into a leg.) Dania: "WILL YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP?!" Thing: (Dives back into the ground.) Kortul: "Shit. Not dead." Razuli: "Quiet!" Rourk: "I refuse..." Razuli: "We can hear when it comes back!" We waited, still and listening, but it did not come back. We never did find out what it was, and had to go back for another glow-torch. Further up the tunnel, we discovered a large quantity of animal bones, crocodile and boar and such. Nothing here was very interesting, so we continued on. The passage was running almost straight north at this point, and began to narrow. Kortul, in a rare moment of quickness, took the lead, and was the first to notice the spider-webs. Kortul: "Big spider." Rourk: "You are afraid of insects? Very well then; stand aside." Razuli: "Navero, light a torch." Dania: "We don't need more light, Nav." Razuli: "That's what you do with spiders. Roast 'em. To a nice crackly crunch." Dania: "It would be better if we kept, uh, open flame to an absolute minimum, you know? I mean, we might hit a gas pocket, or catch somebody's clothes on fire, or something." Razuli: "What are you so bitchy about? Too young for PMS." Dania: "Fuck you. It's too dangerous." Razuli: "It's too dangerous to fuck you? Well, I..." Navero: "Please stop saying things like that." Razuli: "What was that?" Navero: "Please stop saying things like that to Dania." Razuli: "Well, EXCUSE ME!" Dania: "You're excused. Bye." Rourk: "Will you all stop this annoying bickering. You try my patience as it is. Priest! Light a torch." Navero: "Dania thinks we shouldn't." Kortul: "Get torch lit." Dania: "But fires are dangerous! Fuck the torch..." Razuli: "You're the only one here who can do that, Wizzerd." Dania: "Say that again and I'll blast your face off." Navero: "Uh..." Arlor: (Appears from tunnel ahead of us.) "Um..." Rourk: (Jumps a bit, recovers.) "What is it?" Arlor: "There are big spiders in there, yup. Big as me." Dania: "Oh, that's no problem, then." Kortul: "See anything else? Money?" Arlor: "Um, nope. Nope." Navero: "Perhaps we should leave them? They're not hurting anything." Rourk: "I agree. There is little honor in slaying bugs, particularly if they have nothing of value. Let us return, and go another way." Dania: "Aye." Razuli: "I what?" Dania: "Shut up." We all returned to the glowing fungus cave, prepared another couple of glow-torches, and set off to the south. Dan Parsons "Why can't we run into something simple, like another Dragon?" NAVERO XI Newsgroups: rec.games.frp Subject: Navero XII Reply-To: dparsons@jarthur.Claremont.EDU (Daniel Parsons) Distribution: usa Organization: Harvey Mudd College, Claremont, CA Keywords: Navero, of the Correct and Unalterable Way Navero, male human cleric, 2nd level Dania, female 1/2-elf MU, 2nd level Rourk Ravensbane, male drow cavalier, 2nd level Kortul, male human fighter, 2nd level Razuli, male human fighter, 1st level Arlor, male dwarf thief, 1st level Our heroes (and heroine) went south from the glow fungus cave, down a wide passage. Dania, Navero, and Razuli held lights, glow torches obtained from the pool. Navero kept the map (I showed the DM that he really was carrying pen, ink, and paper; also fireplace tongs, a folding chair, 11 herbs and spices, and about a gallon of Holy water. "The Lords smile upon those who are prepared.") The passage wended southwards until it gradually widened into a small cave with a dry stream bed going through. The floor was sandy, especially in the stream bed. From the entrance, we could see no hostile entities, and so we went in and examined the room. One of the first things we saw was a giant carapace half-buried in the stream bed; it seemed to have belonged to some giant crayfish or lobster. Other bits of cracked exoskeleton lay about, but not much was left. There were entrances in the east and west, the ends of the dry stream, and in the south. We decided to go west. The westward entrance was in the stream bed, yet was high and wide enough for us to walk down. At the end was a small kidney-shaped chamber, with a large hole in the floor. Also inside the room were 4 very large ants - each about 2 foot at the shoulder. Rourk: "I am becoming dissapointed. I am not here to exterminate insects." Navero: "Are they dangerous?" Dania: "Hope not. Here they come." The ants came over and ran their feelers over us. One took hold of Kortul's boot in it's mandibles, but he kicked it, and it left him alone. They apparently didn't think much of us, as they left us alone after that and we were able to explore the room in peace. Nothing interesting turned up, and so we left, went back to the crayfish room, and headed east. Eastwards, the passage narrowed condsiderably; Rourk took the lead by virtue of his speed of movement, and after some breastbeating and shouting, we continued on. Dania: "Jesus. Can't you guys just take turns?" The passage continued, sloping gently upwards, until it branched to the east and north. The stream bed seemed to be continuing in the eastward branch, so we took the northern one. It sloped sharply upwards, into a very wide passage with many small stalactites; it continued on north, barren and uninteresting. Dania: "Fuck this. This place is boring." Razuli: "Fuck this? You'd have to break off one of the stalactites first, unless your'e.." Rourk: "Shut up. I am rather upset with this entire expedition. I came here to gain glory and renown, and all I have found is dirt and cavern insects. I suggest that we waste no more time here." Kortul: "Why is floor slimy up there?" Arlor: "Huh?" Navero: "Oh, ick! It looks like a slug, only bigger!" Rourk: "Congratulations, o ye great unwashed. You have discovered slime. There is not a foe worthy of me in this entire place." Kortul: (Has moved ahead) "Gold on other side." Razuli: "Ok! How we gonna kill it?" Rourk: "You may fight the slime, if you wish. Although why you would kill your own relatives, I cannot comprehend." Dania: "Lets not try burning it, Ok?" We all went up to look at the slime. It was a bright greenish, and clung to the floor and walls, but not to the cieling. The air was very damp around it, and the floor muddy. It lay quite still, very wet-looking, and rather odorous. Navero: "It looks like pond scum, or algae." Razuli: "Probably green slime. Burn it." Dania: "It's too wet to burn. You can't burn everything, stupid." Razuli: "Who are you calling stupid? Say, whatever happened to your horse, anyway? Did you misplace it? Loose it?" Navero: "Uh..." Dania: "Shut up, Nav. Look here, mister: you have done more plain IDIOTIC things since this started then the rest of us COMBINED." Razuli: "Name one!" Arlor: "Can I say something?" Dania & Rourk: "WHAT DO YOU WANT?" Arlor: "Umm... Forget it." Razuli: "Look, kids: why don't we just burn out the slime, get the treasure, and go. Ok? Ok!" Dania: "It won't burn, you idiot! And fire is dangerous!" Kortul: (Sticks torch in slime. It comes out undamaged.) Navero: (Examines slimed torch) "Uh..." Dania: "What?" Navero: "This is just some kind of algae, growing in a pool." Dania: "But theres no light down here for it to grow." Navero: "Well, it's just algae. Something else must be feeding it." Kortul: (Walks across, through algae. Does not collapse screaming. Reaches pile of gold.) "Looks real." (Prods with blade.) "Must be cache." Razuli: "See how easy that was, kids? Just leave it to the humans to figure it out, eh Rourk?" Rourk: "Quiet." (Marches through puddle.) "Let me see that." Dania: "Ok! Is it the Orc's stuff?" Kortul: "Not labeled." Navero: "If it is, we should return it to the people of the keep." (Pause.) Razuli: "Nav, we aren't working for them anymore, remember? After the way they treated us?" Rourk: "Indeed. This would go only a little way towards repaying the injuries and insults they have given us." Navero: "But we already received a reward. And this should go back to the people it was stolen from. The villagers are very nice people." Dania: "I'm sure they are, Nav. But that reward was pretty small, you've got to admit. And not what we were promised." Kortul: "Gold won, not given. Besides, is it Orcs'?" Navero: "But they allowed us into their midst, us strangers. They are good at heart, just suspicious. I mean..." Razuli: "Look, lets stow it away for now. When we get back, we can ask them if they're missing any money. If they are, we can give it back. Ok?" Navero: "Well... alright. But don't forget to ask everyone." Razuli: "Trust me." There was no more in there, so we trekked back to the Dead Crayfish cave and went south. The passage almost immedeately opened into a large cavern, about 80 feet across. Our torches glowed feebly in the vastness. We heard a noise from the other side, across the cavern; a huge Orc came out of another passage. The orc had a cunning gleam in his eye, easily visible from across the room. He was wearing boiled leather, and had a big spiked wooden club; he held two strange creatures on leashes. He entered the room, serene and confident; another humanoid, about 11 feet tall and with a frightening amount of muscle, came in behind him. Rourk: "It is their chief. I recognize his stench. Why he is so much more poorly armed now, I cannot understand. His own foolishness, no doubt." (Draws swords) Party: We spread out, Kortul and Rourk move forward. Razuli loads his crossbow, Navero starts a Chant. Game Master: The Orc Chief releases the leashes, and the two creatures start bounding across the room towards you, hungrily. They make for Kortul and Rourk. Kortul: Could you describe these things please? Game M: Certainly! They are about 4 feet at the shoulder, and weigh about 200 lbs. each. They are rust-colored, and have long antenae-like things on either side of their mouths. They also have long tails, with the end resembling a propellor. (Pause.) Rourk: Jeff, are these things Rust Monsters? Game M: Why yes, they do look rather like them. (Longer pause.) Kortul, Rourk: "AAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!" And so, the biggest, buffest dudes in the party all fled in a blind panic back through the entrance. Kortul fled to the ant cave, where he shucked his armor (tore the straps, didn't care) and dropped his sword. He picked up a piece of rock, and prepared himself as the Rust Monster charged greedily after him. His first strike was, naturally, a crifical fumble. He tripped over the Monster and landed on his face beyond it. The monster ran past him and over to the pile where his armor was. Kortul struck again; another fumble. He threw his rock across the room. The monster was eating his banded mail; it was all disintegrating! In a fit of true disperation, Kortul tried to lift the monster away and shove it down onto a stalagmite. Would you believe another critical fumble? He herniated himself, and the monster ate all his armor. Full, it wandered away with a rather bored look on its face, leaving the sword. (I have never rolled that badly with Kortul, before or since. The DM took pity on me and let me keep my sword.) Rourk fled to the glowing fungus cave and dived in the pool. The Rust Monster following him apparently didn't like the stuff (lucky for him) and would not enter the pool. So there was Rourk, standing up to his armpits in glowing goop, with a hungry armor-eater at the edge of the pool. Razuli also fled, to the slime cave, but there wasn't a monster to follow him. Of course, you realize that this left Dania, Arlor, and Navero to deal with the Orc chief and his Ogre friend... Dania: "Oh, shit." Navero: "Uh... What should we do?" Chief: "I give you the option of surrender." (Heh, heh.) Arlor: "One of the true people would never surrender!" (gulp.) Chief: "What will you do, then?" Dania: "FuckingShitGodamnBastardsKILL!!" (Casts Sleep on Ogre. Ogre drops.) Navero: "HUDSDG!" (Command - stop in Orcish.) Chief: "Amusing." (Throws javelin, misses.) Razuli: (Looks in) "Are they gone?" Dania: "Yes, o my knight in shining armor." Arlor: "Um, what do we do?" Razuli: "Ah ha! I'll engage him frontally... No, maybe Dania better do that, seeing how she's got more front to engage." (Shoots crossbow at chief, string breaks.) Navero: "He's trying to wake up the Ogre." Dania: "FuckYOU!" (casts Magic Missile.) Chief: "Ow! You sting, rottin' elf!" (Throws javelin, Dania is pierced.) Navero: "NO! You, you, you..." (Cure Light Wounds on Dania.) Razuli: "Oh, I'll bet he's scared now." (Fixes crossbow, loads again.) Navero: (Charges across room, swinging mace.) "YAAAAAAAHHHH!!" Razuli: "Nav, move so I can get a clear shot." Navero: (Fumble. Trips and falls down.) Razuli: "Thanks, Nav." (Shoots chief.) Chief: (Laughs, throws javelin at Rizudo. Misses) Arlor: (Throws dagger at chief. Misses) Dania: (Wakes up.) "Owww.... Whasgoinon? Oh! Razuli, go get him!" Razuli: "ME?! Oh, no no no, I really couldn't. I insist." Arlor: (Throws second dagger. Critical, double damage.) "Yeah!" Chief: "Grrrr...." Dania: "YOURE ALL A BUNCH OF GUTLESS ASSHOLES!!" (casts Magic Missile) Chief: "You'll all die!" (Swings at Razuli, hits.) Navero: (Comes up behind chief. Hits, does 3 hit points.) Razuli: "Oh, fucking shit..." (Swings, hits) Arlor: "Can I strike him from behind?" Game M: No, Navero's in the way. Arlor: "Ok, I go over and kill the Ogre." Game M: Ok. You slit it's throat, no problem. Chief: (Swings, hits Razuli again.) Razuli: "Kids, I hate to be a nag, but could you help me kill this thing?" Dania: "Oh, so NOW were all supposed to pitch in, HUH?" Navero: (Misses.) Dania: (Hits it with her staff. Chief starts wobbling.) Razuli: "All right!" (Strikes, Chief falls.) "Damn, I'm good." Dania: "Shut up. Just shut the fuck up. SHUT YOUR FACE. Ow..." We found Kortul sitting on his Rust Monster, beating it's head in with a rock. It squeaked pitifully, then expired. After much sound and fury, we killed the other Rust Monster, and got Rourk out of the glowing pool. However, the sticky glowing fluid seemed to adhere to the metal of his armor as tightly as glue; we couldn't wash it off or scrape it off, and with it on, he looked like a giant tinker bell. Rourk: "I cannot walk about looking like this. It's indecorous." Kortul: "Yes. Should get rest of you, so you match." Rourk: "Oh, really?" Razuli: "Looks like you'll have to go without armor." (chuckles.) Dania: "Don't worry. It's not so bad." Rourk: "It's undignified. I should look like a pauper." Arlor: "You'd rather look like a big fairy?" Razuli: (Laughs.) "No problem, he already is!" Dan Parsons "Rust Monsters work really well. I'm gonna have to remember to use them more often." NAVERO XII Newsgroups: rec.games.frp Subject: Navero XIII Reply-To: dparsons@jarthur.Claremont.EDU (Daniel Parsons) Distribution: world Organization: Harvey Mudd College, Claremont, CA Keywords: Navero, of the Correct and Unalterable Way When last we heard from the party, Navero, male human cleric, 2nd level Dania, female 1/2-elf MU, 2nd level Rourk Ravensbane, male drow cavalier, 2nd level Kortul, male human fighter, 2nd level Razuli, male human fighter, 1st level Arlor, male dwarf thief, 1st level They had just engaged the Orc Chief, an Ogre, and 2 rust monsters. In the battle, Dania was seriously hurt, Razuli less seriously hurt, Kortul got his armor destroyed, and Rourk was liberally coated with brightly glowing fungus juice. (Whatever possessed him to jump in the pool is beyond me, but the DM was kind to us mere mortals.) Navero and Arlor were unhurt. If anyone asks for it, I shall try to put a map in the next posting, as this dungeon crawl may be hard to keep track of without it. We were badly enough off that we decided to just take the Chief's head and go back to Swamp Keep to rest, and maybe fix Rourk so he didn't look like a 5-foot, spiky tinker bell. Kortul also expressed an interest in some new armor. So we went back north, through the Dead Crayfish room, north to the Glowing Fungus room, and west to the entrance hall. We went in calmly, expecting no trouble: mistake #1. Game Master: All of a sudden, this incredible stench surrounds you. Will everyone please make a saving throw vs. Poison? Party: Rourk and Arlor make it. Dania, Kortul, Navero, and Razuli fail, and immedeatly loose their respective breakfasts. They all collapse to the ground and are helpless with nausea. Game M: You see two vaguely cat-like creatures come out from behind the rock formations and attack the party. (Witherstench, I believe.) Rourk: "I engage both. I shall soon deal with these rotten things." Arlor: "I run up and backstab." Rourk: "Coward." (Swings twice, hits twice, does damage.) (Generic fight sounds. Rourk is cut up, as they have big claws, but is not too seriously hurt. Other party members recover slowly.) Rourk: "Barbarian, I would have thought you were better at tolerating strong odors, seeing how you constantly acclimate yourself to them. But your own weakness is merely a product of your inferior background, and I do not begrudge you your lapses." Navero: "I grab the bodies and run them into the room with the lava. There, I dump them in, so they won't smell anymore." Game M: You do it alone? Anyone go with him? Party: If he just runs off, he is alone. Game M: Navero, are you alone? Navero: I guess I am. I didn't think to take anyone with me. (Mistake #2, by the way.) Game M: "Well, the other one who was hiding in the entrance attacks as you approach. I assume you make a panicked cry for help." Navero: Uh, yes. "eeep!" Game M: "It attacks you, and... Oh my." Navero: What happened? Game M: (rolls more dice.) "Oh, dear." Navero: May I intrude? I have some interest in the outcome of this. Game M: (rolls still more dice.) "Oh my. Sorry, your'e dead. Critical strike to the brain, skull penetrated, instant death." Dania: Oh, fuck. Sorry, Dan. Navero: (Thud.) (The player, not the character.) Game M: Well, the rest of the party hears this shriek from out in the hall... Razuli: "Hey, where's that stupid priest?" Rourk: "I believe he went to dispose of the bodies." Party: We all go running up there. (More generic fight. Witherstench bodies eventually disposed of in lava, by Arlor and Kortul. Party gathers around Navero.) Razuli: "Well, this is just great! What do we do with him?" Dania: "Maybe we can get him ressurected." Razuli: "That costs some serious bucks, magic-user...." Dania: "Maybe we can get a discount because he's a priest." Razuli: "Right. Step right up to The Late J. C.'s Body and Fender shop! Special discounts to pure people." We all got out of the caves with no further incedent. Navero was placed over his horse, and we rode back to the keep. The ride back was rather quieter than is usual; the characters seemed somehow preoccupied, although Razuli did try to liven things up. Razuli: "C'mon! Why the long faces? We got the chief, so maybe we can get them to ressurect Nav as our payment. I don't think we'll get any more money out of them, anyway." Arlor: "That'd be nice. Great. Yup, I guess." Dania: "Razuli, shut up. I'm not in the mood." Rourk: "Indeed. Do us all a great favor." Razuli: "Kortul?" Kortul: "What now?" Razuli: "Ok, ok! Jeez..." We arrived back at the keep gate. It was late evening; the sun was setting behind Swamp Keep like blood splashing into the dirt. Rourk and Kortul gave the guards one look, and they opened the gate without a word. We went to see the official we had been seeing earlier; he had been preparing to go home, but took the time to see us. Official: "You killed the chief, but one of your number died. I see. Oh, it was that young priest? Truly, this is a tragic loss. He will be honored, of course, in the way of his faith." Dania: "Actually, we were thinking of trying for a ressurection." Official: "Well... that is a bit out of my field, but I shall see what I can do. Give me the Chief's head - thank you, keep it in the box, and don't drip on the desk - to show to his lordship, and then... ah, let me see...." Razuli: "If it's too much trouble, we can get another priest." Dania: "Oh, please! It's not like they grow on trees." Rourk: "Your attitude disgusts me, mercenary. Truly, you are beneath any sort of contempt." Kortul: "May get a competent one, this time." Official: "Hmm. Truly, he had noble comerades. But take this (hands Dania a token) to Brother Guilern at the temple of Kiliy. Ask of him." Dania: "Thank you very much, for all your help. You have been most kind." Guilern, as it turns out, was the high preist of the main temple in the keep. The token got the party in to see him, and he remembered having spoken with Navero, whom he recalled as a well-spoken, if thick-skulled youth. Guilern: (Examining body.) "Well, perhaps not so thick-skulled..." Rourk: "Can you do it, o mighty holy one?" Guilern: "I must consult the goddess in this. He is not of our faith. And naturally, the price for the ritual, both in physical and monetary terms, is very high. By the way, gentle knight; how did you come to be painted with Shimmer Fungus?" Rourk: "An unfortunate accident. Would you, most wise Cleric, know of any way in which the, uh, Shimmer Fungus might be cleansed from my armor?" Guilern: "It is extremely tenacious in it's adherence, but alcohol should prove quite sufficient in it's removal." Razuli: "I think it looks great as it is." Rourk: "Do be quiet. And thank you, noble Priest." Arlor: "Go get soused, I guess. Yup." (chuckles.) Rourk: (Irritatedly leaves.) Navero did not quite reach his eternal reward; he was halted by a gentle tug. This genlte tug became a gentle wind, unfamiliar but not unfreindly, pushing his drifting soul back to where it once had been. A strange and stoical voice said, "You are called. Go." And with that, Navero opened his eyes, groggily sat up on the bed, looked about him in bewilderment, and threw up. It is interesting to note that when Rizudo died, nobody even mentioned ressurection; but then, we didn't have the body or the money. (The ressurection did cost a GREAT deal, by the way; most of the money we had.) Dan Parsons "Navero, don't ever do anything that stupid again, hear?" NAVERO XIII Newsgroups: rec.games.frp Subject: Navero XIV Reply-To: dparsons@jarthur.Claremont.EDU (Daniel Parsons) Distribution: world Organization: Harvey Mudd College, Claremont, CA Keywords: Navero, of the Correct and Unalterable Way Navero, male human cleric, 2nd level Dania, female 1/2-elf MU, 2nd level Rourk Ravensbane, male drow cavalier, 2nd level Kortul, male human fighter, 2nd level Razuli, male human fighter, 1st level Arlor, male dwarf thief, 1st level Navero was safely ressurected, but still needed time to recover, so the rest of the party decided to take a break and heal for a while. This was not to be a leisurely break, as most of our money was gone. (The money for new armor for Kortul did not come out of the party fund; we did not have a party fund except in the special case of Navero. Everyone paid for their own stuff, so Kortul had to borrow from the other players. Only Razuli wanted to charge interest.) As poor as we were, giving the villagers back their money, as Navero still wished to do, was out of the question. Fortunately, the others were able to convince Navero that they still planned to do that, but had spent all the money on him, and so would have to go out and get some more. Razuli: "Sure, we'll give them back all their money. We were going to, but you had to wandering off and get yourself killed." Navero: "I'm sorry. You shouldn't have spent so much on me." Dania: "Forget it. No problem." Razuli: "It was your own stupid mistake that got us into this mess. Now, kiddy, promise me you won't EVER do that again for as long as you live." Navero: "I promise, upon St. Glajmir." Razuli: "Good boy. Now lie still, and don't let any more of your brain fall out. You need what you've got." Dania: "Razuli, can I talk to you outside a minute?" Razuli: "Sure. You think she's hot for me, kid?" Navero: "Uh..." (They leave, go out into hall.) Dania: "If you ever talk to Navero like that again, I will fry your face off." Razuli: "Hey, whatsa matter? Just a joke." Dania: "You're a joke, human. Lets get out of here." Razuli: (mutters) "Boy, she is a witch today, isn't she?" Rourk and Razuli spent many of their nights in the tavern, Razuli enriching the place with his meager funds, and Rourk letting him. The little Cavalier was not beyond good ale, but he never had any in the common room, as he would have to take off his helmet to do so; instead, he and Razuli sat and insulted each other for nights on end. (I would never call them friendly; to tell the truth, if there had been any intra-party fighting, I think it would have been with these two.) Rourk did stop by the temple to ask about the Shimmer Mold. Rourk: "Greetings! You have the honor of addressing Rourk Ravensbane, of the clan Kuirtyhiasdall. I wish to partake of your knowldege, concerning a certain substance I have encountered which may be potentially useful." Generic Cleric: "Oh? How may I help you?" Rourk: "What do you know of Shimmer Mold?" GC: "I know something of it. It is rare, but not so rare as to be of great value to anyone. It's light will coat nearly anything except flesh, living or dead, and cling tightly. It also serves as a heat insulator, but not so effectively as it does a light source." Rourk: "Ah. I had felt that my armor was unusually warm that day. Thank you for your services, gentle Priest, I am eternally grateful." GC: "20 gp for Sage advice. Payable now." Kortul proved quite asocial - he would often spend whole days and nights prowling about the marshes, hunting and foraging and living off the land. Apparently, he felt that the keep smelled bad, his companions only slightly less so, and the marshes slightly less than that. While in town, Dania went back to her master, so as to keep up with her studies. She didn't really like the man (who would?) but he did have a great library, and if you didn't mind the sorts of stains you had to get out of the carpets, and the things encrusted on the glassware, it wasn't bad. Usually, she avoided him if at all possible. Dania was washing the dishes after a supper with a guest whom she had been VERY careful to avoid (the one who wanted 7 forks and 12 knives again), when space and time screamed. She found herself in her master's workroom. Master: "I have work for you." Dania: "Sure!" (*Big grin*) Master: (A faint smile. It dissapears) "I want you to go out and collect some brains." Dania: "Brains?" Master: "Yes. Hominid will do, for now. You should be able to find some appropriate specimens nearby." Dania: "Brains?" Master: "YES. Three, from individuals with some variation between them. And no diseased specimens. Place them in this box, and they shall be teleported here." Dania: "Brains?" Master: "You have ears, I perceive. Have you used them recently, or are they filled with dish-soap?" Dania: "You mean, living brains?" Master: "By the time you get them into the box, I should be quite surprised if they were alive. But they should be reasonably fresh. Now: hop to it, apprentice." Dania: "Uh... go out, and, uh... PROCURE, uh... brains. Cerebral matter. The grey-and-white stuff?" Master: (pauses.) "If you insist upon not using it, as you seem to be doing, there is always your own." Dania: "RIGHT! Bye! I'm going now! Chop, chop!" (scampers out.) Master: "Apprentice?" (sounds slightly peeved.) Dania: "Huh? Oh yeah, right." (Comes back, gets box, scampers out.) Where, o where, can one find a loose brain lying around? Perhaps some calves brains from the butcher? No, Master would never go for that. Ummm... This town doesn't have a morgue, does it? Dania went wandering down the sunny streets, the utter possibility of her errand high in her mind, when whom should she meet, but Razuli. Dania: "Raz! Fancy meeting you here!" Razuli: "*Hic!*" Dania: "You drunk already? Jesus. Whats the occasion?" Razuli: "Schtoopid K-nigut flied to outdink me. Me, the Mashter!" Dania: "Out-dink you? Trust me, no one could do that. Where's Rourk?" Razuli: "In dere. *I WON ALL HIS MONEY!!* Ha haaa ha hee hee hee..." (Lands SPLOT in a horse trough.) (Dania goes in, finds Rourk in his room, passed out.) Dania: "Ummm... No, maybe I'd better not." (Leaves) And so she continued down the city streets, wondering where she could find a likely candidate. They abounded - beggars and orphans and expendible people of all shapes and sizes; but how, exactly, did one broach the subject? "Hi there, I'd like to get to know you better. Trust me, I'm only interested in your mind." Things were beginning to look grim, when a leper was run down by a merchant's wagon in the street right in front of her. Merchant: "What is that? Get rid of before my family is infected." Dania: "Sure! No problem! Have a nice day!" (Drags body away.) (Finds empty alley, hides behind some barrels, takes out knife.) Dania: "Sorry about this, guy." Later that night, she got a wino who collapsed in the street and hit his head on a paving stone. Unfortunately, she got both of them back later, with a short, terse note. Note: "Quality matters, apprentice. These are unacceptable." Dania: "Shit. We were going back to the orc caves tommorow." And so we did. We rode through the marsh, walked into to the cave, went through the great hall, over the barrier, into the entrance hall, past the Shimmer cave, over the meadows, and through the woods, to grandmother's house we... ahem. Past the Crayfish Cave, and into the Orc Chief's ambush cave. There were two entrances, one in the south and one in the west. The Ogre's body had vanished. Navero: "What's that box on top of your pack, Dania?" Dania: "Never mind, Navero." Navero: "I don't like it; it seems... wrong." Dania: "Nav, trust me, Ok?" Navero: "Well... ok." The western entrance, led to a long, narrow passage, terminating in an exit to the surface. It was reasonably hidden with brush and quite unnoticeable unless you knew where to look. The southern entrance (the one the Orc Chief had come from) led to a pair of caves; one had a pile of matted vegetation, several large clubs, and a box (opened, empty), and the other a couple of cages, made out of wood. Some rusty bits of iron were in a sack in the room with the cages. A long search turned up nothing of any value. We returned, and got as far as the Shimmer Mold cave when Rourk stopped us. Rourk: "Gather some is this fungus extract will you? I have a plan." Razuli: "Hoo boy. Here we go." Rourk: "Silence in the presence of your betters, mercenary. My mind moves in higher planes than you can understand." Dania: "Want to be painted again?" Navero: "Here, I got some in this sack. What is your plan?" Rourk: "Follow me, and see for yourselves." He walked up to the cave with the boiling lava, and flicked a drop into the lava. A small portion of the lava solidified, and sank. With a flourish, Rourk emptied the sack into the pit, and formed a narrow, rough bridge across the lava to the other entrance. Rourk: "Now do you understand, my fellows? I realized this from the moment I was coated with it. And now, we may go across." Razuli: "About how strong is the bridge, Rourk? Wanna walk out and test it?" Arlor: (Toddles out onto bridge.) Rourk: "I will not have you..." (Plants armored foot on bridge, breaks through.) "...attempt to fight anything you might find on the other side of that entrance, dwarf. Scout ahead and come back quickly." (Examines foot; it is not too badly burned.) Arlor: "Um... Ok." (Walks to other entrance. He is gone for a short time when cracks start to appear in the bridge.) Navero: "Please hurry, the..." Arlor: (Appears, staggering) "Duh... duh... duhhh.... Yeeek!!" Razuli: "Arlor, get your ass over here." Arlor: "Droi... drou... droggy... DRAGON!! BIG!! RED!! SMOKY!!" Dania: "Oh, fuck. Get back here!" The party retreated over the barrier. Kortul: "Tell what you saw." Arlor: (Quivering slightly.) "Dragon. Big. Bigger than other. Red." Rourk: "Was it asleep?" Arlor: "I think not. It looked at me." Rourk: "Ah. Perhaps we had better leave, then." Kortul: "Yes." Dania: "Yes!" Rourk: "We can come back later and kill it." Party: "ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR TINY MIND?" Rourk: "We have a means of reaching it. And a heat insulator that will render it's feared breath useless. And when it has gone to sleep, what possible threat could it represent?" Dan Parsons "I think he's been getting too much sun." NAVERO XIV Newsgroups: rec.games.frp Subject: Navero XV Reply-To: dparsons@jarthur.Claremont.EDU (Daniel Parsons) Distribution: world Organization: Harvey Mudd College, Claremont, CA Keywords: Navero, of the Correct and Unalterable Way A dragon! A Red Dragon! Not some panty-waist Wyvern or a baby Black, but what seemed to be, from all indications, a REAL LIVE ADULT RED DRAGON! And that stupid Cavalier insisted that we go in and kill the thing! Dania: "Are you out of your fucking mind?" Rourk: "Your insinuations are insulting to one of my stature. One need only think of the glory that could be won from the defeat of such a beast to realize our only course of action." Dania: "YOUR only course of action! Hell, I'M not going in there!" Razuli: "Arlor, are you sure it saw you?" Arlor: "Did my best not to let it. Might have." Kortul: "Came here for reputation. Get it, or die in attempt. But we should have plan." Rourk: "Exactly, barbarian. You have a keen grasp of the obvious and proven facts. Dragons as large as this sleep hard, and are easily surprised in their lairs." Razuli: "Oh, my! Are you suggesting that we actually SNEAK UP ON IT? Don't give it a fair, fighting chance?" Rourk: "I propose only the time-honored strategy. One so uneducated as yourself would naturally see this in an incorrect manner. As I realize your obvious limitations, you can be forgiven, for now." Razuli: "Rourk, you've come to your senses. Sooner or later, I knew you'd see I'm always right. It just took time, that's all. The thickest *ahem!* helmets are always the hardest." Dania: "You are all forgetting something. *WE CAN'T DO IT.*" Razuli: "Think of all the treasure it will have." Dania: "Well... we can't do it. It'll slaughter us." Navero: "If it isn't killed, what will it do?" Rourk: "That is plain and obvious. The Orcs constructed the barrier, and maintained the poison on the stakes, so it obviously has some means of getting across the lava pit." Dania: "Like, maybe, swimming the backstroke. How much money do Reds usually have, anyway?" Razuli: "Enough to keep us going for, oh, say, several years?" Dania: "I could buy a castle. A small one, wouldn't have to be much..." Navero: "Red Dragons are greedy and evil, aren't they?" Kortul: "The worst." Navero: "Then it will probably come out and ravage the countryside, and do incalculable harm. There is only one moral thing to do, and that is to at least try to stop it, before it does these things." Razuli: "Right! For morality's sake!" We returned to town, and borrowed money at the moneychangers. The sum was not great, although the 'changer charged some hefty interest, and we all went out and got our training to go up a level, as appropriate. The time we spent would hopefully give the Dragon a chance to go back to sleep, assuming that it did not see Arlor. So now, the party is: Navero, male human cleric, 3rd level Dania, female 1/2-elf MU, 3rd level Rourk Ravensbane, male drow cavalier, 3rd level Kortul, male human fighter, 2nd level Razuli, male human fighter, 2nd level Arlor, male dwarf thief, 2nd level (Fortunately, this was 1st edition AD&D, before the Dragons got nasty. We wouldn't even CONSIDER doing this now. Not with a party like this. The 2nd edition has improved some things.) We trained hard. Practied all our skills. Insisted that Rourk teach everyone basic Drow Silent-Speech. Bought fire-resistant backpacks. The works. Dania's master was not pleased with her sudden interest in fire resistance spells, seeing that she had not completed the task he had given her. However, he was willing to wait it out, on her promise that in just a little while, she would be able to satisfy him with something even better than expected. In light of later events, it seems that he did not take the opportunity to read her thoughts, as he had done earlier. Perhaps it was because he liked surprises. Finally, the day arrived when we felt that more preparation wouldn't do us the slightest bit of good. We rode out to the cave at dawn, tethered our horses, and walked quietly into the first hall. We ran rags and threads and bits of leather strapping through all our armor, so it would not make as much noise. We tied soft soles to Rourk's metal boots; everyone else's were soft enough to be quiet. Then, we went to the Shimmer Mold cave, and coated our armor and equipment, first liberally with the glowing liquid, then with soot to kill the shining. Everyone wore scarves over their faces, so they wouldn't be exposed to the heat. All of this was done in complete silence; no arguments broke out, no one even spoke. Even the use of silent-speech was minimal. For the first time, the party acted with unity; it would have been depressing, if everyone weren't so scared. We practically emptied the pool of Shimmer Mold juice into waterproof sacks, and carried it to the lava pit. There, Arlor and Dania, the quietest and lightest people, carefully made up a strong bridge to the other entrance, wide enough and thick enough to hold up all of us together, but not enough (hopefully) to support a Dragon's bulk. Then, the rest of us joined them, and we all went in. Arlor spotted a thin wire stretched across the entrance; it led to a precariously balanced pile of old armor, tucked into a hidden alcove. This trap was taken care of, once spotted. The floor, we saw, had been coated with some slippery goo. We carefully covered it over with more of the soot we had brought, careful not to raise a choking cloud of the stuff. Navero cast Resist Fire on everyone. There was about 20 feet of very wide passage, and then a cave about 80 feet across. The rock formations were more numerous, but many seemed ground down, roughened. Far away, at the western end, was a pile of more coinage than most of us had ever seen in one place. Gems and jewels, and more valuable things, glinted in the faint light the lava made. And, most importantly, there was the focus of all our thoughts. It was not a deep red at all, as I would have imagined, but a bright scarlet; and somehow seemed small in the quiet immensity of the cave. It was larger than it's pile of treasure, though; and that made all the difference. Its eyes were closed. Its breathing was so very slow; maybe once a minute. Its great wings lay flat, rustling with it's breath. It looked deadly, even in apparent repose. A thick dagger of a body, long sword neck, adze-shaped head angling to thin jaws that could crush any one of us instantly. It's claws were straight, not curved sickles, tapering to small graceful points so sharp they seemed impossible in something so large. Its essence was glory and destruction, sheer power as an end to itself. It reeked of the death it held inside itself. A killing machine, in a way we could never approach. The columns of living rock outlined the gold alter on which it lay. We came forward for the ceremony in silence. It opened its eyes. Dan Parsons NAVERO XV Newsgroups: rec.games.frp Subject: Navero XVI Reply-To: dparsons@jarthur.Claremont.EDU (Daniel Parsons) Distribution: world Organization: Harvey Mudd College, Claremont, CA Keywords: Navero, of the Correct and Unalterable Way The battle with the Red Dragon. Scorecards available on request. Navero, male human cleric, 3rd level Dania, female 1/2-elf MU, 3rd level Rourk Ravensbane, male drow cavalier, 3rd level Kortul, male human fighter, 2nd level Razuli, male human fighter, 2nd level Arlor, male dwarf thief, 2nd level For a moment, everything paused. We stared into its gold-flecked eyes like they were the only thing in the world. Then, as agreed, we scattered. Kortul and Arlor ran to the right, Kortul to the fore, aiming his longbow, and Arlor about 15 feet to the rear. Rourk and Razuli went left, Rourk forward with weapons drawn and Razuli loading his crossbow. The Dragon all too quickly shook off its sleep and stood, and moved its claw in a curious way. Navero and Dania hid behind the rocks, Navero starting a Chant which would encourage his friends, and Dania fired off 2 magic missiles. The missiles streaked over across the room, and fizzed out on an invisible barrier; a Shield spell. So far, except for spellcasting, not a sound had been made. The Dragon roared. The earsplitting noise echoed enormously in the cave's confines; we quickly realized it had been chosen partially for it's great acoustics. The noise was so loud that Navero was shocked out of his chant, and Arlor and Rourk were stunned. Then it breathed, a mighty gout of flame, in the direction of Rourk and Razuli, at an angle guaranteed to get both. Razuli ducked behind a lump of stone, but Rourk, stunned as he was, could not possibly get out of the way. The flames blazed around them both; a great blast of steamy residue flew off as the Shimmer mold which had coated them was seared into ash, but they were alive. Kortul fired two arrows; one bounced off the invisible shield, the other from the creature's metallic hide. Dania swore and cast a Web spell about the Dragons feet. Kortul and Rourk charged; Arlor approached more cautiously. Razuli lifted his crossbow, but discovered that the string had been burnt through, so he drew his blade and moved forward. Navero resumed the Chant. Dania cast Cause Blindness; the Dragon shrugged it off. The Dragon reared up and lifted the web, gold showering from it. It tore completely away from its scales, and then it threw the sticky mass over Kortul. Rourk charged up the pile of treasure, but never reached the Dragon itself. One wing swung out, battering him away and almost throwing him into Razuli. The great tail swung out and knocked the struggling Kortul down, and then the Dragon ripped into him with its claws until he lay still. Razuli ran up beside it, and threw his entire weight behind his longsword, stabbing into its leg; blood hissed out and the blade snapped. Arlor threw a dagger, which skittered across the scales of it's neck. Dania moved from the rock to a column which was closer to the action, while Navero continued his entreaties to his gods. The Dragon paused, as if considering, and then breathed again. This time, the fire arced across the room, and enveloped Dania and her column. Hair shriveled, and Shimmer mold boiled away. Rourk got up and swung both swords into one forelimb; he drew blood, but not nearly enough. Razuli drew his dagger, laughed at his own foolishness, and looked in the treasure pile for a weapon. Arlor tried to run around and get behind it. Dania dropped without a sound. Navero ran forward to Dania, and quickly used his last spell point to Cure Light Wounds. Kortul got up; he wasn't quite dead after all, and was able to rip away the tattered web in one motion. Rourk stabbed into the body, one blade merely scratching the steely scales, and the other not penetrating nearly as far as it should have. Arlor threw his other dagger; the Dragon merely moved out of its way. Razuli saw a naked sword in the pile, gleaming in the red light of the lava, with a blackened and bony hand still around the hilt. He took it without thinking. Dania was still unconcious, and Navero began to hear something from the lava pit; a crackling sound, unfamiliar. Rourk swung again. Both blades grated across the scales. Kortul swung his great blade, and felt its weight come to a satisfyingly sudden halt in the Dragon's neck. Arlor finally reached it's hindquarters, and tried to pick a spot to plant his short sword. He chose the tendons of the leg. Razuli stabbed it beneath the tail, where he thought there might be SOMETHING vital; the blade sank in almost greedily, and the Dragon actually screamed. (Critical strike, genitals.) Dania was jarred awake at this, and cast another Web spell, but this time into the Dragon's open mouth. The cracking sound was getting louder. The Dragon's eyes blazed, possibly with pain but more likely with rage, and kicked back with both legs; Razuli was torn from crotch to throat, and hurled back into a wall. The Dragon grabbed Kortul, and threw him into Rourk; both dropped. With it's other claw, it tore away most of the web in its mouth. Arlor cut at it's leg, but it was like trying to cut through stone or steel. Rourk got back up; Kortul did not. He had been thrown onto one of Rourk's swords. Razuli lay there and bled. Dania and Navero looked on in helplessness. Arlor ran to Razuli, and grabbed the shining, bloody blade from his hand. Rourk swung twice, cutting across the deep wound Kortul had made in the Dragon's neck. A good amount of blood rewarded him. The Dragon looked down at him, and its left claw came streaking in out of nowhere, followed closely by the right; both hit, but the bite miraculously just grazed him, ripping his chest plate to tatters. Rourk was hurled away to the floor. Dania cast Magic Missile; it somehow snuck past the Shield and made a slight wound in the Dragon's side. Navero threw a rock, but it fell far too short. The Dragon looked out across the room, to where Dania and Navero were huddled behind the stone. It seemed to be at the same time insulted, and horribly triumphant. Its breath roared out again. Navero grabbed Dania and threw his mold-laden cloak about them both as the flames surrounded them. The fires seemed to last minutes. When it was over, Navero almost gently dropped to the floor; Dania had been shielded by Navero's body, and was nearly unhurt. Rourk hacked at the Dragon again; it seemed to finally be slowing down, although he did no significant damage. Arlor ran up behind it and chopped at it's leg again. The sword was almost as long as he was, and very unwieldy, but the slash cut nearly to the bone. The Dragon slipped down the pile, it's leg no longer supporting it. Rourk smashed it over the head, striking for the eyes; he missed them, but the Dragon seemed jarred by the impact, indicating it was weakening. Arlor swung, but the heavy blade was too much for him and he missed. Dania cast her last Magic Missile; they sputtered against the Shield. The Dragon swung with its great wings, blowing dirt up from the floor; Rourk and Dania got it in their eyes. It kicked back with it's good leg, and tore Arlor's legs out from under him. He dropped with two broken legs (Critical strike) and fainted from the pain. Rourk struck blind. He hurled himself onto the Dragon's sagging neck and stabbed and stabbed and stabbed. Blood hit him in the face and burned; he ignored it. Dania cleared the dirt from her eyes, and started limping away from the column back towards the entrance. The Dragon snarled weakly and shoved Rourk away, slamming him to the ground and holding him underneath one claw. It looked into his eyes, and Rourk felt it trying to take hold of his mind and Charm him, but he was one of the Dark Ones, and not to be so manipulated. The Dragon's last desperate maneuver had failed. Rourk stabbed up into the golden eye. The Dragon seemed almost indignant. Then, slowly, with a great clash like steel on stone, it fell back onto its pile, and it's last breath left it. The thing was dead. Dan Parsons NAVERO XVI Newsgroups: rec.games.frp Subject: Navero XVII Reply-To: dparsons@jarthur.Claremont.EDU (Daniel Parsons) Distribution: world Organization: Harvey Mudd College, Claremont, CA Keywords: Navero, of the Correct and Unalterable Way The Dragon was dead... (Note: chp = current hit points) Navero, male human cleric, 3rd level, chp = -4 Dania, female 1/2-elf MU, 3rd level, chp = 2 Rourk Ravensbane, male drow cavalier, 3rd level, chp = 1 Kortul, male human fighter, 2nd level, chp = -3 Razuli, male human fighter, 2nd level, chp = -6 Arlor, male dwarf thief, 2nd level, chp = -1 (Our group plays that you must reach -10 to die; otherwise you are unconcious and bleeding at 1 hp/round.) Dania: (stares numbly at dead Dragon) Rourk: (stares numbly at dead Dragon) Dania: (stares numbly at dead Dragon) Rourk: (stares numbly at dead Dragon) Dania: "Rourk?" Rourk: (stares numbly at dead Dragon) Dania: "Are you alive?" Rourk: "What? Oh... yes, I believe so." Dania: "Is anyone else down there?" (Starts limping forward) Rourk: "I shall see. Are you injured, mage?" Dania: "Yes. Ow. Nav was carrying the bandages, wasn't he?" Rourk: "I believe so. Check him, he looks hurt." Dania: "Everybody does. Ow..." Wounds were cleaned and bandaged as quickly as could be managed, splints made for Arlor's broken legs, and Razuli's shredded torso tightly bound. Rourk tried to wake Navero for his healing spells, but Navero was beyond that. Then Dania and Rourk went to inspect the Dragon and the hoard. Dania: "Can I have the head? It's for my studies." Rourk: "Hmm... It is a bit too damaged for display. I suppose that it could fall into your share of the booty." Dania: "Great. Thanks." (Gets head, starts cutting out brain.) Rourk: "What are you doing there?" Dania: "Dragon parts are valuable. Scales, organs, all kinds of stuff." Rourk: "Indeed. But I shall not be one to dissect my dead foe. It is enough that my deeds be recognized." Dania: "Uh-huh." Rourk: "I shall see about the treasure. I am a Dragonslayer; my new status demands an improvement in my monetary position." Dania: "Right." The treasure pile was quite impressive up close. Most of the coinage was silver and electrum, but gold was present in significant quantity. There were also several interesting items; swords and rings and necklaces, a staff and a book, and an odd crystal or glass ball, that seemed to have three glowing shapes moving within it. Rourk: (Inspecting sword Razuli used.) "Mage, come here and look at these things. I wish your opinion." Dania: (extracts brain) "Just a minute." Rourk: "Patience is a virtue of mine. Finish your task." Dania: "Yes, Rourk. I've always admired your restraint." Rourk: "Of course you have. Many do." (picks up glass ball) Dania: (Stuffs brain into box.) "Alright, now... what is that thing?" Rourk: "I have no idea. It seems to have some things imprisoned within it." Dania: "Let me see." Rourk: "Hold. I have not completed my own examination." Dania: "Rourk, give it to me. It's magic, you shouldn't mess with it." Rourk: "You think me incapable of understanding? Where I come from..." Dania: "I don't wanna know about where you come from. Just give it here." Rourk: "No. I expect an apology from you." (walks off) Dania: "Rourk, you asshole, that thing might be dangerous! Give it!" Rourk: "Why? Do you think it might be especially valuable? You have given me great insult, magic user, and I refuse to speak to you until you have apologized for yourself." Dania: (snarl...) "Alright, I apologize! Now hand the fucking thing over!" Rourk: "You seem *somewhat* insincere." Dania: "JESUS CHRIST, Rourk! What the fuck do you want? Alright! I apologize, I'm sorry I ever crossed you! I'm sorry I ever even MET you! Now give me the glow-ball or I'll sock you!" Rourk: "Oh, very well, then. Catch!" (Tosses glow ball.) Dania: "NO, YOU IDIOT..." (Ball slips out of her bloody hands, hits floor.) The hollow glass ball almost exploded into many many fragments, each of which faded into a cloud of smoke. The wisps silently collected into three blobs, and slowly solidified into three warriors, each in full plate covered with exquisite carving, and with great swords at their sides. They looked majestic, awesome, enough to take your breath away. Paladin 1: (Looks about) "Right! Well, then. Thanks for killing the Dragon, and all that. *Harumph!* Terribly sorry, but we must be going now." Rourk: "Hail, great warriors! I am Rourk Ravensbane. You are...?" Paladin 2: "We are The Three Who Do! Our mission is to rid the whole wide world of everything evil!" Dania: "Who Do what?" Paladin 3: "Uhrr..." Paladin 1: "Here now! Don't confuse him! It's impolitic!" Paladin 2: "Look, everyone! A lady in distress!" Paladin 3: "WHERE? I want the experience!" (Draws Chainsword. BUZZZZ!!) Paladin 1: "A lady in distress?! Here now, can't have that!" Paladin 2: "She's the one over there who looks distressed." Paladin 1: "How can she be in distress? Her captor is dead and her rescuer stands right there!" Dania: "Hey!" Paladin 3: (Still whirling about, looking. Careless swipe of chainsword takes out a rock column.) Rourk: "I'm afraid there has been an error." Paladin 1: "We are The Three! We are the ultimate embodiment of all that is essential to Paladinhood! We do not make errors, boy! Only the evil and the ignorant insult us so! Do you detect evil on him?!" Paladin 2: "No." Paladin 1: "Pity." Paladin 3: (Still looking. Cuts Dragon in two and looks inside.) Paladin 2: "She's over there." Paladin 3: "Oh? Ah!" (Grabs Dania and charges for the exit.) Dania: "Put me the fuck down, you " Paladin 1: "Here now! She's already been rescued!" Paladin 3: "Damn! Hey, look at all those people on the floor, with negative hit points..." Paladin 2: "Sorry. He gets carried away sometimes." Dania: (snarls) Paladin 1: "Right! Well, then... Since you were good enough to let us out and all that, old chap, perhaps there's someting we can do for you, by way of returning the favor, dontcha know." Rourk: "If you would be so kind. Some of my companions have been injured in the recent battle with the beast you see." Paladin 2: "What, all these people?" Rourk: "Yes. Do you possess any healing arts?" Paladin 1: "All of these men for one Dragon?" Rourk: "Well, yes." Paladin 2: "But it's such a little Dragon." Paladin 3: "Aw, these guys are wimps! Heck, I once had a character that killed 23 Bahumats!" Paladin 1: "Nothing to brag about, old sport." Paladin 3: "Well, that was before I got my Nuclear Chainsword +50." Dania: "Uh, MIGHTY warriors, I am most distressed that my brave rescuers are lying in puddles on the floor." (Bats eyelashes.) Paladin 3: "Do we wanna spend spell points on them? I mean, they're not even in our party." Paladin 1: "Tut! Least we can do." (Flash! All unconscious characters now have 1 hit point.) Razuli: "Owwwwww....." Kortul: "Is it dead?" Rourk: "Yes, and may I introduce you to The Three Who Do?" Paladins: (Stand upright and look majestic.) Navero: "I got soot in my eyes." Dania: "They aren't very healed." Paladin 1: "Here, now! We must conserve our energies for the upcoming battle with our great nemesis!" Rourk: "Who is...?" Paladin 3: "Alive, but we'll do something about that!" Paladin 2: "He imprisoned us within the globe!" Paladin 3: "We never even got the experience for killing Asmodeus that last time!" Razuli: "It's dead! Yippee! I killed it!" (Brandishes new sword.) Paladin 3: "With that? That's just +1, +4 vs. Reptiles. Why would you want such a wimpy little sword? No wonder you guys got thrashed; how long have you been playing, anyway?" Razuli: "Plus WHAT? Playing? What are you talking about?" Paladin 1: "Your sword's special purpose is the slaying of reptilian horrors." Razuli: "Oh, neat." Paladin 1: "*Harumph!* Well, we must go to prepare for the upcoming battle! Good luck to you, brave souls!" (*POOF!* They vanish.) Dania: "Good riddance." Rourk: "Indeed. From the looks of all of you, their healing truly was the least they could do." Navero: "Who were they?" Dania: "The Three morons. Now lets..." (*POOF!*) Paladin 1: "Yes, what is it?" Dania: "Huh?" Paladin 2: "The Three appear whenever The Three are called! Do not call us again unless we are needed!" (They look displeased.) Paladin 3: "Neat, huh? The DM said we could do that when we hit 50th level." (*POOF!*) Razuli: "Those looked like some very powerful idiots." Rourk: "I'm afraid I find myself agreeing with you. This is truly a dark day." Razuli: "Of course you agree with me! I mean, it's the only sensible thing to do. How much money did we get?" We counted the loot; it came to a very large amount. In addition, we found three necklaces (none magical), four rings (one magical), two swords (Razuli's and a two-handed sword, both magical), the staff and book, and a lot of non-magical gems. Right then it was early afternoon; with luck we could make it back to the keep by nightfall. Placing the most valuable items in our pockets, we filled our packs with as much gold and electrum as we could carry, and left. Or at least, we tried. What we did do was discover the source of that cracking heard during the Dragon battle - it was the bridge over the lava pit breaking up. Kortul: "Shit." Rourk: "This is highly annoying." Dania: "Ok, guys, what do we do?" Razuli: "Simple! We take the lightest person in the group, and throw her across with a rope around her waist, then..." Dania: "Shut up, Raz." Navero: "I suppose we'll have to climb over. Unless there's some way out from in here." Kortul: "Doubt it." Arlor: "Umm... Can we look? At least?" Dania: "Fine. Let's look." (Prolonged search. Prolonged mainly by Arlor. No entrances found.) Razuli: "I wonder how the Dragon got any food in here?" Dania: "Who knows. Well, Arlor, hop to it." Arlor: "Um... Did you look on the roof? Bet it's there, yup." Dania: "We can't fly. Now get going." Rourk: "I would expect this cowardice from a dwarf." Arlor: "Then YOU go! I don't wanna!" Razuli: "Arlor! If you do it, you can have first choice of magic items." Dania: "No! He'll take the staff, and I should have that!" Arlor: "I can't use it, ya know." Dania: "You'll sell it. It's the most valuable thing. You know how greedy these little hairballs are." Rourk: "I am inclined to agree. But the sword is obviously worth far more." Arlor: "I don't like that either..." Kortul: "Stupid. Priest! Get rope, iron spikes for Arlor." Arlor: "Umm.. I still don't wanna..." Kortul: "Yes, you do." Arlor: "Umm..." Rourk: "You do. Now go to it!" Arlor: "Why do *I* gotta climb across! It's dangerous!" Dania: "Because..." Razuli: "Hey, where's Navero?" Dania: "Oh, no." They all ran to the lava pit. Sure enough, there was Navero, about halfway across, sliding along the wall on the little bit of crumbly ledge which was left from the bridge. Kortul: "Doing pretty good." Rourk: "I hope he doesn't get himself killed again." Razuli: "Watch out for that next step, Nav!" Dania: "Keep going!" Navero: (Reaches entrance.) Razuli: (Throws rope to Navero. He misses it, it falls in the lava.) "It's ok, we got more." (Navero catches second rope.) The treasure, and the party, was ferried over on ropes until all were on the safe side. Once there, we got the horses (which were still waiting there) and rode back to town with as much speed as our ruptured bodies could take, arriving just after sunset. Navero went to the temple, and everyone else went to the one tavern, where, for the most part, they all had a long, uninterrupted sleep. Dan Parsons "I hope I never see another Dragon again as long as I live." NAVERO XVII Newsgroups: rec.games.frp Subject: Navero XVIII Reply-To: dparsons@jarthur.Claremont.EDU (Daniel Parsons) Distribution: world Organization: Harvey Mudd College, Claremont, CA Keywords: Navero, of the Correct and Unalterable Way Navero, male human cleric, 3rd level Dania, female 1/2-elf MU, 3rd level Rourk Ravensbane, male drow cavalier, 3rd level Kortul, male human fighter, 2nd level Razuli, male human fighter, 2nd level Arlor, male dwarf thief, 2nd level Very few mornings have been more painful than the next to which greeted our heroes. Actually, it wasn't even morning at all anymore, despite the early hour at which they had felt compelled to turn in. But, being awake, now was obviously the time to go out and exploit their new-found wealth. Razuli: (Calls downstairs) "Room service! Breakfast!" (Short wait. Door opens.) Maid: "Ya called for breakfast. Can ya pay?" Razuli: "Yeah." (Flips her an electrum) "Anything else you think you can do for me this morning?" (Looks her up and down, grins broadly.) Maid: "I don't think so, sir. Breakfast in a few minutes." (Another short wait. Razuli inspects and cleans his crossbow.) Maid: (Opens door. Has tray with steak, fruit juice, eggs.) Razuli: (Points crossbow.) "Big, isn't it? Wanna feel it?" Maid: (Leaves tray at door and leaves very quickly.) First things first: we paid off the moneychanger, and went to the temple. Not being believers, and having already used their services so recently, we could only wrangle a Cure Serious Wounds for each of us. We then asked Dania to identify some of the magic items; this she readily agreed to, as she was very curious about the staff. Ring of Protection, +1 Longsword, +1, +4 vs. reptiles Two-handed Sword, +1 Staff of Thunder and Lightning Spellbook with 17 spells, 1st - 5th level Razuli quickly claimed the Lizard sword, as he had been the one to risk picking it up. Kortul got the two-hander, and Dania the staff and book. Arlor got the ring, over Dania's objection that she had the least protection and so should get it as well. Then we each went our seperate ways, agreeing to meet again at the tavern to discuss plans for the future. The more sensible among us spent the time resting and recuperating - there were quite a few hit points lost. Some, however, felt it necessary to do otherwise. Razuli: "*Hic!* I'm RICH! Everbodee ges a drink onme." Tavern Master: "Sure. That'll be 10 gold." Rourk: "Despite the obvious fact that we are the only ones here?" Tav M: "You not like it, sir?" Rourk: "Please, go right ahead. You may feel free to bilk my inebriated servant out of whatever you wish." Razuli: "SERVENT?! I'll hav yu k-no I am a DRAGULSLIPPER!" Rourk: "Mercenary, do not breathe on me again." Razuli: "I castraded a dragon! Whoopee!" Rourk: "Rather difficult to do with a female dragon." Razuli: "Oh. Gess it yelled for 'nother reason. Ha ha HA ha hA!!" Tav M: "Care to have a drink on it sir? 15 gold." Razuli: "I CANN BEET UP-PTHH ANYBLOODY IN THISH BARR!!" Tav M: "Should I put him to bed, Sir?" Rourk: "No, good fellow. His antics are amusing." Razuli: "I CUN BEET UP U!" Rourk: "I'll wager that stag head is shaking in it's mountings." Razuli: "Bedder be. I'm a DRAGOHMSTIFFER! Tink i'll drink to dat." Tav M: "Here you go. That'll be 25 gold." Razuli: "Shanks. Yur a good fella. Do u k-no what I did?" Rourk: "Yes. Soiled your armor." Razuli: "Beside that. I.... am a DRAGIMSPLAYER! I'm a buff dude!" Tav M: "Yeah, great. You sound like you could use a drink." Razuli: "No phanks, I'm walking! Hee hee heh he HEE HeE hEE hEe heE" (THUD) Rourk: "I suppose you may put him up now. And also, remember those who do the title Dragonslayer it's proper office." Tav M: "I'll try, Sir. Good night." Dania returned to her master's house after her own rest, with the idea of some more studying (We were all pretty sure we had gotten enough exerience to go up a level from killing the Dragon.) She went into the house, and was taken to his workroom, where she saw the brain suspended in some bubbling golden fluid, with wires attached to it. Master: "Welcome, apprentice. You have done well." Dania: "Thanks. I thought you might like it." Master: "Did you, now? You presume to know my mind?" Dania: "No! No, never, Master! It's just that these aren't, uh... common." Master: "Hmph. Ah, well. It was good you found one within range. Was it living out in the swamps?" Dania: "Yes, it was." Master: "Getting one this recently dead _is_ a rare thing. Although your excision shows you have little skill in handling a knife. In the future, you are to concentrate on improving that." Dania: "No problem." Master: "You may go now. Clean the laboratory on the first floor. And have care to get under the tables." Dania: "Yes. Bye!" (Scampers off.) Things went on in this vein until the next day, when, with a shriek like that made by a tachyon being voilated by a meson, Dania was suddenly drawn into the Master's workroom. The brain still floated in it's tank, everything seemed normal, but with a glance she could tell Master was angry - VERY angry, but about what she didn't know. Master: "You, and your friends: where exactly did you get this?" Dania: "Uh... from a Dragon. In the swamp. In a cave." Master: "Was it, by any SMALL chance, a Red Dragon named Lentic?" Dania: "Uh, we weren't, uh... introduced." Master: "No. You simply went up and beat on it, didn't you, with swords and things? Yes, I see. And liberated Them through sheer clumsiness!" Dania: "Them? You mean those idiots?" Master: "Yes. Those idiots. Observe, prestidagitador." A basalt slab which had been on one wall cleared, and Dania saw The Three standing outside the house. Paladin 1: "Right! Here we go, now!" Paladin 3: "I'm gonna kill him! Dibs!" Three swords rose up, and three swords came down, smashing the outside wall to splinters of foul-looking wood. The Three entered, and arrogantly walked down the hall outside the first floor library, and into a hall Dania had been told never to enter. After about 10 feet or so, a pit opened beneath their feet, and they fell into a pool of acid. They quickly dissolved, and the liquid was siphoned off and poured into a Sphere of Annihilation, gone forever. Dania: "Well, that took care of it." Master: "Wait..." The swords had not dissolved, but instead sank to the bottom. As they watched, they rose up into the air, and The Three re-formed out of shining mist. Dania: "Shit!" Paladin 2: "Say, why don't we try a different approach?" Paladin 3: "Yeah, I'm sick of traps. They're boring." Paladin 1: "Right, then. Lets go back, and get the heavy artillery." Paladin 3: "YEAH! He'll never know what hit him!" (Cackles in a most un-Paladinish fasion.) Master: (*Sigh*) "Do you have any IDEA how much trouble it was to get them into the globe in the first place?" Dania: "Lots?" Master: "Apprentice, there is one thing you can do." Dania: "What is it, Master?" Master: "Say, `oops.'" Dania: "Oops?" Master: "Yes, very good. Wonderful last words." (Makes an arcane gesture...) VVV VVV AAA DDDDDD AAA BBBBBB LLL AAA MMM MMM !!! VVV VVV AAAAA DDDDDDDD AAAAA BBBBBBBB LLL AAAAA MMM MMM !!! VVV VVV AAA AAA DDD DDD AAA AAA BBB BBB LLL AAA AAA MMMM MMMM !!! VVV VVV AAA AAA DDD DDD AAA AAA BBBBBBB LLL AAA AAA MMMMMMMMM !!! VVVVV AAAAAAA DDD DDD AAAAAAA BBB BBB LLL AAAAAAA MMM M MMM !!! VVV AAA AAA DDDDDDDD AAA AAA BBBBBBBB LLL AAA AAA MMM MMM V AAA AAA DDDDDD AAA AAA BBBBBB LLLLLLL AAA AAA MMM MMM !!! Game Master: The whole house shakes. Your Master, who never got a chance to complete his spell, is sprawled on the floor. You have been thrown conveniently near an exit. Dania: (Runs.) Dania dived out of a window and landed in the street. Everywhere, there were explosions and concussions and flying bits of building. She got up to run, when she ran into one of the paladins. Paladin 2: "Hold, vile... wait a moment! You look slightly familiar." Dania: "Uh, it's me! The damsel in distress, remember?" Paladin 2: "Oh, a damsel in distress! You must be a maiden princess held captive by that nefarious sorcerer! Oh, how romantic! Fear not, gentle dove! I shall save you, and bring justice to your creul opressors! AVENGE your honor! Return you to your pining family who even now search for you everywhere! GOD, THIS IS THE LIFE!!" Dania: "Uh, right. What's THAT thing?" Paladin 2: "This? But a Surface-to-Air Missile launcher. But hold! My companions call to me! The evil magician is gone, having fled his chambers of power, to power to other chambers, no doubt! We must pursue him wherever he goes, for that is our destiny!" (The streets light up as a missile tears open a hole in a nearby house.) Paladin 2: "Oops! Oh, well. It is nothing next to the banishing of evil." Dania: "Uh, thank you for rescuing me, kind sir, I belive I'll go someplace and hide right now, bye!" (Flees) (Passes Rourk and Navero, who are coming to see what is going on.) Dania: "JUST RUN, YOU IDIOTS!!" (Navero and Rourk look up the street, and see an M-1 tank rolling towards them, blasting out buildings. They run.) Somehow, after a good deal of running around and screaming, the party managed to assemble itself outside the tavern. We all went inside, and saw a very familiar looking town official and about 15 town guardsmen. They were talking to the tavern master, and didn't seem to notice us, so we decided not to disturb them, just go upstairs and get the money and stuff we left up in our rooms... Official: "*!)> YOU!!! <(!*" Party: "us?" Official: "GET. OVER. HERE. AND. HAVE. A. SEAT. IF. YOU. PLEASE." The guardsmen all looked rather peeved, and didn't seem to like us. We sat. Official: "Would any of you just HAPPEN to know anything about THREE PALADINS who are wandering our streets commiting mayhem?" Dania: "Us? Oh, no no no." Razuli: "What a silly question! What have you been smoking?" Navero: "Uh, *ow!*" (Dania drives her staff into his foot.) Guard 1: "Why won' yu le' 'im speak, yur li'l wizzerdship?" Official: "Never mind. I think you do know. But I realize that it probably isn't your fault they are here. I have heard of The Three; they are as powerful as they are stupid, and not to be swayed by any mortal's wishes. Nothing stops them, not even common sense. Probably just an acquaintance, brief and fleeting, as I doubt you have much to do with such cosmic beings. As such, there is very little we can legally do to you." Guard 2: "How about, `illegally', your Lordship? Official: "We do not do such things. Is any of what I have said true?" Razuli: "Well..." Dania: "Yes, it is. We met them in the Dragon's cave, and we parted company immedeately afterwards." Rourk: "We have, easily, as low an opinion of them as you yourself seem to." Official: "Good." (Brings out some papers.) "So, you are the closest living thing to a Friend they have, and so can be considered next-of-kin, which of course makes you liable for any damages they do." Dania: "WHAT?!?" Official: "Naturally, we have already confiscated those goods of yours we found on the premises, and you will be expected to remain here and do community service work until the debt is paid, in full, with interest as applies. Guards?" The conversation degenerated after that. Kortul kicked the official in the groin and threw the table into the guards; Dania cast a Sleep spell into the main mass and dived out the window. Arlor dived out after her. Razuli decided that would be a good idea, too. Kortul went to keep them company. Dania: "WILL YOU ALL GET *OFF* OF ME!!" Arlor: "Sorry." (Thump!) Kortul: (Runs for stables.) Razuli: "Arlor! Get a good look up her robe?" Dania: "Fuck off, Razuli." Arlor: "Actually, I did..." Danai: "AAHHH!!!" (Tries to kill Arlor with her staff.) Kortul: (Brings out horses.) "LETS GO!" Dania: (snarls) "When I get my hands on you..." Razuli: "You'll what, show him some more?" (Meanwhile, back inside...) Navero: (Hiding under a table.) Rourk: "Ha! If you think that I would surrender to" *CLANG!* (Chair comes down on his helmet.) "... right. Priest! Lets be off!" Navero: "Uh, I'm sorry, but I think we must be going. Your request is unjust and unreasonable. Official: "*stop them!*" (Navero makes it out the door, Guards right behind him. Rest of party rides around, Dania Sleeps more Guards. Rourk jumps onto his horse. Navero climbs onto his horse. Guardsmen on horses arrive and start chasing the group.) Horseman: "Halt, in the name of law and order!" Navero: "Faster, Kumquat!" Arlor: "You named your horse Kumquat?" Navero: "Well... he's the right color." Dania: "That's a mare, Nav." Navero: "A what?" ... And so, our heroes rode off into the sunset, pursued by the local law enforcement authorities. Eventually, as the sounds of distant explosions became only a fading memory, we bravely set forth to see what the next town would be like. Dan Parsons "I've never been chased by the police before! Gee, this is kind of exciting!" NAVERO XVIII Newsgroups: rec.games.frp Subject: Navero XIX Reply-To: dparsons@jarthur.Claremont.EDU (Daniel Parsons) Distribution: world Organization: Harvey Mudd College, Claremont, CA Keywords: Navero, of the Correct and Unalterable Way Navero, male human cleric, 3rd level Dania, female 1/2-elf MU, 3rd level Rourk Ravensbane, male drow cavalier, 3rd level Kortul, male human fighter, 2nd level Razuli, male human fighter, 2nd level Arlor, male dwarf thief, 2nd level We continued to ride for a long time. This was not due to the guardsmen - they left us after the first couple of days, and rode back to Swamp Keep. Rather, we wished to put as much distance as possible between ourselves and the Paladins. The Three were obviously far beyond our capacity to survive; and if they considered Dania's master an enemy worthy of "heavy artillery," we didn't want to run into him either. He had seemed just a trifle annoyed at us for killing his dragon and letting them loose. We rode on, to the north and west. On the journey, we all saw to it that Dania explained just what was going on with them. Dania: "...and so anyway, I was apprenticed to the guy..." Rourk: "You would associate with such an individual as THAT? I wonder that he didn't send you about town, digging up graves or such ghoulish activities. What was it that you were doing with the brain, little mage? Your capacity for greedy immorality astounds me." Razuli: "Actually, Captain Whitebread Sir, I hope you aren't forgetting all those women and children you guys killed." Rourk: "They were Orcs and deserved no less. They are like a cancer, and must be cut away." Dania: "Listen! Then, when the idiots showed up and attacked, the bastard tried to kill me, so I ran." Navero: "I would expect no less, if this individual is as you describe him. On those occasions when evil wears its own face, you should be able to recognize and avoid it." Dania: "Yeah, Nav. It was stupid, but he was the only wizard in town. Except for a bunch of lunatics." Razuli: "You mean the Purple Polka-Dot Magicians? We had them in my home town. At least 'til we burned 'em all at the stake. That was fun." Dania: "Oh, please. Why does everyone burn mages?" Rourk: "Because warriors can defend themselves. Mages, being so vulnerable, are constantly exposed to the vicousness of the rabble. In this regard, it is notable that all true nobility is comprised solely of warriors. No others possess sufficient strength, fortitude and grace to rule." Razuli: "Strange attitude for a darkie. I thought the women were tops in your place, Rourk? Women WIZZERDS and PRIESTESSES?" Rourk: "There are, of course, exceptions." Razuli: "Maybe the darkie women were ugly enough to scare you away, and tramatized you." Rourk: "Bite your tongue, Human! Their grace and beuaty could never be matched by your pitiful species." Razuli: "Then why are you up here?" Rourk: "I refuse to speak on that. Silence." Razuli: "Admit it! You came up here looking for a good fuck, didncha?" Dania: "Raz, shut up. Your'e annoying the hell out of me." Kortul: "And everyone else. Quiet, all of you." Rourk: "When did you have permission to give orders? Please stand downwind of me when you open your mouth. This, mercenary, is a typical example of humanity: filthy, unsophisticated, incapable of even the simplest of tasks..." Kortul: (grrr....) Rourk: "...having no regard for others, probably even mistreats members of his own family! Disrespectful of his betters..." Kortul: (GRRRR.....) Rourk: "...uncouth, uneducated, insensitive and impatient..." Navero: "STOP IT!! Why are you DOING this?!" Razuli: "Oh, jeez, not again..." Navero: "Will you please stop this? Why do you all hate each other so much? I don't see how you can hate each other so much, you haven't done anything BUT hate each other! WHY!?" Rourk: "Priest, we can hardly be said to hate one another. These others simply amuse themselves with childish name-calling. Think nothing of it, for it is of no consequence." Kortul: "Childish, yes." Rourk: "Did you intend some insult with that, o great slab of underdone Orc fodder? Perhaps you even meant I?" Kortul: "Meant EVERYONE. Either shut up or split up." Dania: "Nav, forget about it. We're all just stressed from having to run out of town so fast, Ok? Don't worry. It'll blow over. And we are not splitting up." Navero: "Well... It just seems like... this is like every other time we're together, only worse. Everybody seems so angry. Maybe it would be better if we seperated, if being together makes everyone so mad." Razuli: "Dania's just mad 'cause Arlor looked up her robe." Dania: (Swings at Razuli, misses) Razuli: "Ha! And Rourk's mad 'cause he had to run from..." Rourk: "THAT will be QUITE enough, mercenary! From here, we shall travel in silence. Unless others voice objections...?" Arlor: "I wanna go home." Dania: "I'm not going with him. I'm not crawling into some smelly hole..." Razuli: "I don't like smelly holes either. You should bathe more, Wizzerd. Especially after riding horses." Dania: "Oh, fuck off, asshole." Razuli: "Wrong hole. (Sings) She's back in the saddle, again..." Kortul: (Bashes Razuli over the head with his sheathed two-hander.) "Enough. You annoy even me. Shut up." Razuli: "Owww..." The remainder of the day was mostly spent in glum silence. No one spoke much, although some angry glances were exchanged. Nothing of note occured that day, except for a curious incident which had no direct affect on us. We heard a scream or keening from the sky, and looked up to see some sort of flying unicorn, far, far above us. (The DM later identified it as a Ki-rin.) It was flying eastwards very rapidly, when a bolt of blackishness shot out of the western skies and hit it, and it dissapeared. About 15 minutes later a shimmer of golden particles wafted gently down, and vanished in sweet-smelling vellities when they touched the earth. We decided to alter our course northwards. We set up camp early that evening; we all carried out our duties alone, as we found one another's prolonged presence intolerable. Navero and Arlor stayed together, but did not speak much. Dinner was travelling rations and carefully strained and boiled water from a stale pool. Rourk was on the first watch, when we were attacked. First, a wild boar charged into the camp, with no warning and little sound, and battered into Rourk. Borne down by 300 pounds of angry pork, he was lucky to get out a warning shout sufficient to wake the rest, as another boar and a sow charged in. Razuli stabbed the sow, and luckily killed it with one stroke. Kortul took to the second boar, while Rourk shoved his boar away. Rourk: "Slaughtering pigs. My mood is poor enough as it is." Kortul: "Shut up and swing." Rourk: "You presume to... ah!" (Watches his swords bounce off the boar. Boar almost seems to laugh and tears him with a tusk.) Dania: "Incoming!" Navero: (Starts chanting.) Kortul: "Ha!" (Slices boar.) Arlor: (Hides under a blanket.) Kortul: (Is criticalled upon by boar. Drops like a rock.) Razuli: (Stabs Kortul's boar, does damage.) "Oink, you little bastard!" Boar #2: "Fooolis huuman." (swings tusks, misses) Razuli: "How now, what how? Talking piggies!" (Two boars charge in, one as large as the first two, the other smaller.) Dania: "Shit! Wereboars! Use magic weapons!" (Magic Missiles Wereboar #3) Wereboar #1: (Misses Rourk) Wereboar #2: (Misses Razuli) Wereboar #3: (Hits Navero, who stops chanting and falls down.) Boar: (Tramples Arlor.) Rourk: (Hacking at Wereboar #1 with normal weapons) "Die, insult to nature!" Razuli: (stabs Wereboar #2, kills it.) "Yee-ha! Two little piggies!" Dania: (Magic missiles Wereboar #3.) "Rourk, get a magic weapon!" Navero: (Thumps Wereboar #3 with non-magic mace.) "Go away! You smell!" Arlor: (Crawls out from under blanket, stabs Boar.) Razuli: (Kills Wereboar #3) "And the score, ladies and gentlemen, is: Amazing Studs, 3; Pork, 0! Dania: (Grabs Kortul's enchanted two-hander, looks comical trying to carry a sword larger than she is. Ends up dragging it through the dirt.) "Rourk, you idiot!" Rourk: (Continues hacking and slicing.) Navero: (Bashes at Boar with mace, hits Arlor.) "oops..." Arlor: (Stabs, kills Boar.) "It's ok. Yup, only my head hurts..." Wereboar #1: (Misses Rourk, runs off into forest.) Dania: "Oh, great! Rourk, that was a magic beast! You couldn't kill it anyway!" Rourk: "Oh, hush, little mage. I was belabouring quite well. I refuse to lay hands on that clumsy carving knife, expecially when it has so recently been in the possession of the odorous barbarian. How is he, anyway?" Kortul, and everyone else, was healed back to health by Navero. The Wereboar did not come back, and we saw no sign of it again. The rest of the night actully proved quite restful. We rode on, still not talking much, but no arguments arose. Late in the afternoon, we rode over a hill and saw before us a city of great size; we asked a freindly roadside peasant, who revealed to us that it was the local capital of the Empire. (There are a string of capitals across the empire, each governing the surrounding territories, and answerable to the Grand Poobah far to the east. This capital (I forget the name. Call it Propyla) was third to the last on the line. The next one to the west was experiencing trouble with local insurrections, we had heard; the westernmost was little more than a town, out in the true wilderness, and very little news had come from it for some time.) Having nothing better to do, we entered the city. We immediately encountered problems with the gate guards. Rourk: "Hail! We wish to enter your fair city in peace and friendship." Guard 1: (snif!) "You come, all armed, into our midst, and speak of peaceful intentions, o MOST noble knight?" Guard 2: "Come now. One must be understanding of these provincials." Guard 1: "Ah, yes. Well, gentlemen and lady, if you would care to follow this man, you can be processed and given your chits." Dania: "Chits?" Guard 2: "New policy, madam. Only instituted about 12 years ago. I see that you do not visit often." Dania: "No. What are chits?" Guard 1: (sigh!) "A chit is a token which shows that you have passed into the city through one of the gates after proper processing, and so cannot be arrested for an illegal entry. It is a most convenient thing to have." Razuli: "Yeah. C'mon, lets go! I wanna see what your women are like!" (We follow Guard 2 into a small room. A very bored looking official receives us, with all due pomp.) Official: "Hullo. Any valuables to declare?" Razuli: "You can see all we got. Any problems with that?" Guard 2: "A more respectful tone, if you please." Official: "Right. Ten percent tax on liquid assets transported across city boundaries. Cash?" Razuli: "Fresh out." Official: "Sorry, we do not allow beggars to walk the street. Good day!" Rourk: "Sir, do you insinuate that I am a pauper? You insult me. I demand an apology, or a response!" Official: (Looks even more bored, if possible.) "Yes, sir. Good day!" Navero: "Well, we do have some money. We won't beg if it's illegal." Official: "How much? And would you mind wearing this ring?" Navero: (Puts on ring.) "I have 120 gold crowns, and some silver." Razuli: "Nav, you idiot! Why'd you have to tell them that?" Official: "And you others?" Navero: "They have only pocket change, Mr. Official. I am party treasurer." Official: "You trust all your money with one?" Dania: "Oh, absolutely! We all trust ol' Nav! He holds the party fund, until we distribute it." Arlor: "Yup! We spent all our money. None here." Official: "Oh, very well. (Takes ring back.) Twelve gold as entrance tax, 6 silver chit tax, please wear the chit where it can be seen, you'll be arrested without it. Good day!" (The Ring of Truth did not indicate any lies from Navero, mainly because he was not lying. The other characters did have only pocket change; the remainder of the Dragon money, amounting to nearly 15,000 gp. And Navero was party treasurer; it was a position he elected himself to at that moment, and it's sole purpose was tax evasion. The morality of his activities is, of course, open to question, but no one raised much of a fuss.) (Afterwards, within the city proper) Dania: "Hey, Nav! Good going!" Navero: "Uh, thank you. I guess." Razuli: "Good goin', kid! You're starting to think like me, now!" Rourk: "Perish the thought. His brain would fall out." Razuli: "Actually, it already did that once." Navero: "Uh, yes..." Dania: "Lets go! Maybe they have a magic shop!" Razuli: "Maybe they have a red light district!" Navero: "Uh, Dania? Was that the right thing to do?" Dania: "Huh? Sure. No prob." Navero: "Well... I know the law can't always apply... at least I think it can't... but wouldn't society collapse if we all just casually broke laws whenever we felt like it?" Dania: "I don't see anything collapsing. Do you see anything collapsing?" Rourk: "Not I. It was no more than those churlish miscreants deserved." Navero: "Maybe we should go back." Razuli: "Are you sure they closed all the holes in your head? Kid, they'd just arrest us and torture us all for days. You wouldn't do that to your friends, would you?" Navero: "Well, I thought..." Razuli: "Don't do that. It's not your strong suit. Do you want to have all of us put away, just 'cause you wanted to show off how clever you were? That's incredibly selfish, Nav." Navero: "I'm sorry..." Razuli: "Lets just go, Nav. Tell you what: pay them later, in secret, Ok? And then go confess to another priest or whatever." Navero: "Well..." Razuli: "Great. C'mon, lets go!" And so, we entered the great city of Propyla... Dan Parsons "Was that just stealing that I did?" NAVERO XIX Newsgroups: rec.games.frp Subject: Navero XX Reply-To: dparsons@jarthur.Claremont.EDU (Daniel Parsons) Distribution: world Organization: Harvey Mudd College, Claremont, CA Keywords: Navero, of the Correct and Unalterable Way Navero, male human cleric, 3rd level Dania, female 1/2-elf MU, 3rd level Rourk Ravensbane, male drow cavalier, 3rd level Kortul, male human fighter, 2nd level Razuli, male human fighter, 2nd level Arlor, male dwarf thief, 2nd level And so, our heroes entered the great city of Propyla for the first time. It was much what you would expect of a relatively new city - still mostly clean, tolerable citizenry, and the good yet inexpensive accomodations. There were several inns and taverns, a sizeable marketplace, an upper class district, government buildings, and a Street of Learning - a small street in the rich part of town, with sages and magicians selling their services; also, one magic shop. The city had several squares, as opposed to one, with message posts and public fountains - an altogether hospitable place. The party split fairly early on, each of us going about our own business. Rourk found an armorer capable of repairing plate, and a limner to repaint his shield device. Navero wandered to the religious areas, where he found a church of the Correct and Unalterable Way and spent the remainder of the afternoon and evening. Arlor just wandered away. Dania, Kortul, and Razuli all congregated to the magic shop, to see what sort of goodies they could find. Dania: "Wow! Look at all this stuff!" Kortul: *grunt* (Inspects swords on one wall.) Shop Keeper: (sneers in a whiny sort of way) "MAY I HELP you?" Razuli: "Hey there! Got anything we could use?" Keeper: "I wouldn't know, SIR. Were you looking for anything SPECIFIC?" Dania: "What do these wands do?" Razuli: "You wanna see a wand of fireballs, wizzerd? I got one I know you'll like." Keeper: "THAT is a Wand of MINERAL Detection, MA'AM. 5000gp." Dania: "Oh." (Drops wand, looks at other things.) Kortul: "Not many weapons here." Keeper: "No; there's LITTLE demand for them here; MOST that make their way here ARE, shall we say, somewhat USED. Weapons are in the back, as are ARMORS, and certain of the commoner potions." Dania: "Hey, look at that mace. You think Navero would like that?" Keeper: "That is a Mace of DISRUPTION, a very fine item and a rarity indeed. It was ONLY through great fortune that I was able to get it at all. It's function is to destroy those of the living dead whom it hits, COMPLETELY and UTTERLY, down to the last vestiges of their souls. I am SURE your friend would love to have it." Razuli: "Great! Then he can take out all the undead. I can just see them, shiverring in terror, as The Great Navero appears! How much?" Keeper: "60,000gp." Dania: "Gaak!" Kortul: "Bit expensive." Keeper: "Sorry SIR, but I cannot accept ANY less. And please do not LEAN on those carpets, you MAY stain them." Dania: "What's this little statue?" Keeper: "(sigh.) A Figurine of Wondrous Power. 30,000gp. I PERCEIVE that you are on a budget. Perhaps you would LIKE to look at something ELSE, more in your range?" Dania: "Uh... can we see what kinds of potions you have?" Keeper: "Certainly. (sigh.) ANYTHING to please a customer. GEORGE?" George: (From back room) "Yes?" Keeper: "Could you tell these WONDERFUL people what kinds of POTIONS we currently stock?" George: "We stock: MegaHeals of all varieties, potions of diminution, potions of growth, one philter of love (a hot item!), potions of..." Dania: "What's a MegaHeal?" Keeper: "(sigh!) I wonder HOW long you have been OUT of TOWN. A MegaHeal is a variety of HEALING potion, which I SUPPOSE would make it an attractive item to those of YOUR profession. Normally, a healing potion may cure LESS, or MORE, but a MegaHeal will consistently restore the SAME amount of damage. It is unaffected by the PURITY of the drinker's body, or ANY of those other factors which make the ordinary, garden variety of healing potion so very unpredictable and undesirable." (This means: They cure 8 hit points, not 1-8. Megaheals come as 8, 10, 16, and 32 pointers.) Kortul: "More expensive?" Keeper: "That USED to be the case, but the NEWER techniques have reduced the cost to a much more REASONABLE level, which may make them more ATTRACTIVE for you." Razuli: "How about crossbow bolts?" Keeper: "George? Do we have any CROSSBOW BOLTS in stock?" George: "Light, or Heavy?" Keeper: "LIGHT or heavy, SIR?" Razuli: "Light, with barbed heads." Keeper: "George? LIGHT, with barbed HEADS." George: "Sorry, we do not have any quarrels or arrows in stock." Kortul: "Any two-handed swords?" Keeper: "GEORGE? Do we stock any TWO-Handed Swords?" George: "We have one two-handed claymore, which is... +1, +4 vs. reptiles." Keeper: "One two-..." Kortul: "Heard. Price on Lizard sword?" Keeper: "(Hmph!) George? What IS the list price on the LIZARD sword?" George: "The list price is... 5000gp." Kortul: "Trade-in?" Keeper: "(sigh!) Yes, we ACCEPT trade-ins. Are you speaking of THAT? Well, let me SEE. Hm. Fairly standard enchantments, nothing SPECIAL. WITH this, I BELIEVE we could settle for... 3000gp." Kortul: "1500." Keeper: "GEORGE? Bring the LIZARD SWORD out here that the customer may inspect it before purchase. I ASSUME you wish to do so, SIR." (Sword floats out of the back room, sets down on counter.) Keeper: "THANK you, George. I BELIEVE you can see that this fine item..." (Much haggling. Settle on 2300gp, Kortul is pretty much cleaned out.) Dania: "I think I'll just get a MegaHeal or so. That way, we don't have to depend so much on Nav." Keeper: "SOUND thinking, MA'AM. Would you be wanting the ECONOMY size, or one of the more EFFECTIVE ones?" Dania: "Uh, economy." Keeper: "Fine. The 8hp type is... 500gp each." (More haggling. Dania gets 2, Razuli gets 1.) Razuli: "Well, I guess thats it. You got nothing much worth buyin'. How do you keep people from stealing all this junk?" (A beuatifully made suit of full plate on display animates, grabs Razuli, and tosses him out the door.) Dania: "Neat. Bye, George!" George: "Bye, come again!" We met again in the square closest to the gate, and went out looking for an inn to stay in. We found a very nice one; there was a common room below, with a small stage for entertainers, and the tables were all in good shape. Rooms were all upstairs, with thick walls to keep the noises of nightime revelry out; we were mostly all tired, and did want to sleep that night. The party was mostly complete; only Rourk and Navero were missing. Dania: "Where's... uh, whatisname, the stupid?" Razuli: "Which one? There are a lot of them." Dania: "I meant helmet-head. Wasn't he gonna be here?" Arlor: "Um, I saw him, yup. He went into a house where there was this woman." Razuli: "OUR cavalier, chasing HUMAN tail? Or was she human?" Arlor: "Yup. Not real nice-lookin', though. He seemed to like her." Razuli: "No accounting for taste. Wonder what she tastes like? I'll guess I'll just have to ask him, won't I?" Dania: "Oh, please. I don't wanna hear about it." (An elf enters, comes to our table. He is in fine red leathers, has silver hair and golden eyes, and has a lute.) Obnoxious Bard: "Hi there! New in town?" Kortul: "What are you?" O Bard: "Sir! Do you not recognize me by my profession? I see you do not; well then: how many barbarians does it take to screw in a light bulb?" Kortul: (glares.) O Bard: "One, of course." Razuli: "That's not very funny, ya know." O Bard: "What's funny is how many light bulbs it takes." Razuli: "Here's one for ya: how many obnoxious bards does it take to screw in a light bulb?" O Bard: "That depends on how big the light bulb is. Speaking of which: magic user! Are you free tonight?" Dania: "Do you have a name, o great minstrel?" O Bard: "Indeed I do, o palpitator of men's hearts! I am Kory Silvertongue, soon to be The Incredibly Famous Kory Silvertongue, known throughout the land for his incredible musical talents." Razuli: "Dania's already known throughout the land for her incredible talents." Kory: "Oh, really?! Well! We should get togethor and make beu-u-u-atiful music together sometime! How about tonight?" Dania: "I don't know who you are, but I already know that I don't like you. Piss off." Kory: "Say that with a smile, sweetheart! Ah, Dania! Can't you see what I'm trying to tell you?" Dania: "Yes! Your'e a fucking pervert with his brains in his pants!" Kory: "Oh, dear! My face would cave in every time I went to the bathroom!" Arlor: "Why are those guards coming over to our table?" (Kory quickly dissapears.) Guard 1: "Who was that?" Dania: "I don't know. I don't want to know." Guard 2: "Well, you are all under arrest." Razuli: "Aw, c'mon officer! We didn't know he was the governor!" Guard 1: "What's this about the governor? We wanted to arrest you for travelling with a Dark Elf." Kortul: "Joking." Arlor: "But we wouldn't, nope. They're not nice people!" Guard 1: "Were you in the company of a short knight when you came into our city, at gate #2 this afternoon?" Dania: "Did we come in gate #2? I don't think so. That wasn't us." Guard 3: "The color of your chits indicates otherwise. How long did you know this person?" Razuli: "Oh, not long. Was he a darkie? He never took that helmet off." Guard 4: "Details, please." Kortul: "Met a few days ago. Travelled with us, kept apart. Left us after the gate." Guard 1: "So you know nothing of him?" Dania: "Nope. How'd you catch him?" Guard 2: "We didn't. We found his body in a drainage ditch a few hours ago. He was naked and drained of blood, through two holes in his neck. Probably also used in some other nefarious rites as well; the body had been mutilated. Not being worthy of a funeral, and not wishing to have it polluting our city, we took the body out and burned it. And now, we wish you to explain his presence here." Arlor: "We didn't know, no no no. News to us." Guard 1: (sigh.) "You will swear to that?" Dania: "Sure. Right here, if you want." Guard 2: "Not strictly necessary. Ah, well. Good evening to you." (They leave.) Dania: "Rourk's dead? Oh, well." Razuli: "They probably got all his money too." Kortul: "Hmph. Remember: cities more dangerous than dungeons. Watch it." Kory: (Reappears) "Ah, ha! So you did know this person!" Dania: "Oh, shit. I thought they scared you off." Kory: "Magic-user: how could one of our race knowingly run around with one of those filthy bastards? I find it difficult to believe, but I'll forgive you if you sleep with me tonight." Dania: "What if I told you I got kicked out of home for sleeping with one of those bastards?" Kory: "Yeesh! Then yours is a road I shall never travel! Good God, woman! You have absolutely no morals! And I'm starting to like you!" Kortul: "Hmph." Kory: "You have some opinion, o great and hairy one?" Kortul: "Light, Dark, all the same. Are all uppity, and all bleed." Dan Parsons "You speak of elves as though they were meat." "Often are." NAVERO XX Newsgroups: rec.games.frp Subject: Navero XXI Reply-To: dparsons@jarthur.Claremont.EDU (Daniel Parsons) Distribution: world Organization: Harvey Mudd College, Claremont, CA Keywords: Navero, of the Correct and Unalterable Way After training, as appropriate... Navero, male human cleric, 4th level Dania, female 1/2-elf MU, 4th level Kortul, male human fighter, 3rd level Razuli, male human fighter, 3rd level Arlor, male dwarf thief, 3rd level Kory Silvertongue, male elf bard, 2nd level (Kory is a new-type bard, not the old type; the Dragon Magazine type, as they were called back then, now the 2nd Edition type.) Training this time around was no problem at all. There was a semi-public library for magic-users, temples for Navero, a very small arena, etc. It all went very lesiurly, with plenty of time to relax and unwind; we were beginning to like this place. A pity that it didn't last... we still had plenty of money to spend. (At our tavern, just after dusk.) Arlor: "Nice, quiet place, yup." Kortul: "No dragons. No paladins." Kory: "O hirste one; would you be speaking of Those Who Are More Than Two And Less Than Four? You have my condolences. You won't be meeting them again, I pray?" Dania: "Not if we can help it." Kory: "Ah, good! That gives me yet another reason to hang out with you guys. The first being your beacon of spiteful loveliness, who fascinates me endlessly. The $econd i$ that you guy$ $eem to have $omehow produced an irre$i$tible force which draw$ me ever clo$er to you." (I'm still not sure how he got his S's to sound like dollar signs.) Razuli: "The bonds of comradery and friendship are strong indeed. (sigh.) Hey kids, wanna find Navero and take him to see the sights?" Kory: "That little priest person we met earlier, no? Well! I know of a house run by a lovely older woman that I'm sure he'd just LOVE..." Kortul: "Some guards coming." (Kory quickly dissapears.) Dania: "I don't see any guards." Kortul: "Don't either. How long'll he be gone?" Razuli: "Long enough to try laying one of the barmaids. He'll be back soon." Kory: "That was not very nice." Razuli: "And the 8-second wonder returns! How was she?" Kory: "Oh, not too bad. Soon as she saw me, she just melted..." Dania: "Down through the floorboards, hoping to escape, no doubt." Kory: "You watch your tongue, young lady! If you keep this up, I may have to spank you! Then, you can spank me!" Dania: "Ooh, sounds kinky. Can I use your sword? Trust me." Razuli: "Hey, c'mon, I get a turn, don't I? What's one bitchy little magic user between friends?" (shit-eating grin) Kory: "More than you could ever dream of. Dania, my dear! Picture this:" Dania: "Some elf's balls frying in butter? Mmmm, sounds tasty." Kory: "Uhhh... Friend Kortul! Is she always like this?" Kortul: (Hostile stare) Razuli: "It's just PMS." Dania: "Oh... fuck you all. I'm going to bed." Razuli: "Your'e going to bed to fuck us all?" Kory: "My most perverted dreams come true!! Only we need some women for the rest of you. Wait a minute, there's some over there! Wow! On second thought, Razuli can HAVE the magic user!" (Leaves.) Dania: "What an asshole." (Many many Guards approach table.) Razuli: "Oh, shit, not again. Kids, get ready to run." Arlor: "Hello, officers!" Guard 1: "'ello, me loverlies. 'member me? Yur ol' frend come ta see ya." Dania: "Oh, FuckingJesusChristGoddamIt... What is it?" Guard 1: "Wasn' nice, you attackin' us gards, runnin' out'a town, leavin' behind such a 'orrible mess. Been weeks cleenin' up afta yu. And runnin' ta this city, o' all places, seein' tha' the Lord o' Swamp Keep happens to be the Guv'nors brother-in-law! Took a bit o' time ta peg yu. But maybe we all shuld talk some, right?" Arlor: "But, sir, we didn't make any of that mess." Guard 1: "Why didn' ya stay and help cleen up!? Right un-neighborly. In fact, so un-neighborly yu all cood be arested rite here. But we all wuld much rathe' have yur willin' co-operashun." Kortul: *grunt* Guard 2: (This guard bears himself like some sort of leuitenant, or something.) "According to certain officials at Swamp Keep, you are responsible for cleaning out an Orc nest in the area, and so are more or less responsible for events transpiring therafter. (Glares) I hope you all understand that if YOU can clean out an Orc lair, the militia would certainly be perfectly capable of handling the same problem. If said militia does not, it is because of possible repurcusions, which you apparently did not stop to consider. One cannot simply go waltzing into a cavern and start slaughtering. YOU may move on, but WE have to live with the CONSEQUENCES of your actions!" Razuli: "Look, we're sorry, Ok? Now what's the deal here?" Guard 2: "You be quiet. You and your kind have done quite enough." Guard 1: "Tell 'em wha' ta do, already." Guard 2: "I was about to, so BE QUIET, dolt!" Guard 1: (mutters) "Oo' pu' a burr up yur ass, then?" Guard 2: "During your activities, you disturbed a young Black Dragon, I believe." Razuli: "That was Rourk! We didn't do it!" Guard 3: "Oh? So you admit to knowing him, then?" Razuli: "Knowing who? Oh, you mean the darkie! We're talking about a different guy, here." Dania: "Yea, different person. What about the dragon?" Guard 2: (a-hem!) "Some citizens of the empire have been complaining that such a dragon has been sighted near their fields, where it steals cattle. Why it should come up here, when it was safe and happy further south, I of course haven't the slightest idea. (Glares) You, I understand, have developed a slight reputation for the slaying of Dragons..." Kortul: (groan...) Razuli: "Here it comes..." Guard 2: "Surely, for such COMPETENT and CAPABLE adventurers as yourselves, slaying one young rogue black would be as childs play. AND in addition, you would have the thanks of the citizenry of the state, who may forget about the small matter of your debt." Razuli: "We keep all it's treasure!" Guard 2: "Ammusing. Anything it has stolen from the citizenry belongs to the citizenry, and not to any brigandish ruffians who come along and sneak off with it. You will be expected to surrender whatever valuables you should find in the black's hoard, and accept the reward decreed by the Governor for the Dragon's death. Any more is not in your due. Am I understood?" Party: Yup, yes, gotcha, absolutely your priggishness Sir! Guard 2: "Should you try to simply cut and run, before OR after killing the black, you will find that the chits you have been given, and which you now wear and cannot remove, will lead us unerringly to you... and you will ALL then suffer PUNISHMENT to the FULLEST EXTENT OF THE LAW! AM I UNDERSTOOD NOW!?" Party: Uh... yes. Absolutely. Can we go now, we have lots to do. Guard 2: "Yes. I think you do have quite a bit to make up for. The black hasn't killed anyone yet; if it had, I'd have you all locked up for murder. But as it is, you get a chance to redeem yourselves; and I don't know whether I want you to succeed, or fail." Guard 1: "Bye, now. Hope yu hav lotsa fun. He he he!" (Guards exit) Dania: "Lets go find Nav." Kory: "Excuse me! Was it you who was getting screamed at?" Razuli: "Yep. Some stuck-up cock sucker wants us to go kill another dragon." Kory: "Oh, cool! Been nice knowing you all. I shall sing songs of your bravery for minutes to come. Wait a moment, did my pointed ears deceive me, or did you say ANOTHER dragon, dear fellow sentient?" Razuli: "Yea, another dragon. Shouldn't be too much trouble, we've seen it before, and killed worse." Kory: "Then I must accompany you! I've never been to a Dragon slaying! Oh my, what wonderful opportunites this creates for my autobiography." We found Navero and explained the situation to him, and then spent the rest of the night seperately. The wise ones prepared their equipment and slept; others spent the time less wisely. In the morning, we set out, but not on horseback, as before. The northern parts of the marsh were considerably more boggy and inhospitable than the southern areas, and going on horse would be difficult. But there were several runs lacing the swamp, draining it's waters into other streams and rivers; a large skiff riding high in the water would be much better than walking through quicksand. At least, that was the idea. We very quickly discovered that no one had ever steered a skiff before, and there were far more subleties to it than you might guess. Fortunately, we didn't capsize before we got something figured out, and were soon on our way into the swamps. Dan Parsons "How the hell do we get into these things?" NAVERO XXI Newsgroups: rec.games.frp Subject: Navero XXII Reply-To: dparsons@jarthur.Claremont.EDU (Daniel Parsons) Distribution: world Organization: Harvey Mudd College, Claremont, CA Keywords: Navero, of the Correct and Unalterable Way Finals are over. I guesss I'll get one off and then go home for Christmas. Navero, male human cleric, 4th level Dania, female 1/2-elf MU, 4th level Kortul, male human fighter, 3rd level Razuli, male human fighter, 3rd level Arlor, male dwarf thief, 3rd level Kory Silvertongue, male elf bard, 2nd level When last we saw them, our heroes were poling up the swamp runs in a skiff. We were sadly inexpert, as was apparent to anyone who saw us. But soon, we left the jeering spectators behind, and as morning wore on into afternoon, an uncomfortable silence settled over the swamps. Fortunately it was the beginning of winter; it was damp enough, but not hot, and the insect density was tolerable. Dania: "Quit splashing." Razuli: "Jezuz H. fuckin' CHRIST, magic-user, YOU steer, then!" Kortul: "Shut up, both of you." Kory: "And who elected you, bright eyes? I fail to see your qualifications for the position of courageous leader." Arlor: "I feel sick." Dania: "So dive in and cool off. There aren't any crocodiles nearby." Kortul: "Some over there, elf. Leave Dwarf alone." Navero: "Dania, why do you not like Arlor? I haven't seen him do anything to make you mad at him." Dania: "I don't hate him, Nav. Lighten up. It's just this useless little hairy geek gets on my nerves. Didn't anyone ever tell you about Dwarves? They chop down forests to make charcoal for their damn forges and mines. Whole forests." Arlor: "Um... You only use dead wood for that." Dania: "Well, it's sure as hell dead when you get through with it!" Navero: "They make some very useful and nice things, I know, Dania." Dania: "Oh, sure, yeah, dead things, that decay, or just gather dust! Oh, what do you know? You'll never live to see it, anyway." Arlor: "Forests don't last either." Dania: "Not with you around, that's for sure." Navero: "Please, why are you angry? Maybe the Dwarves clear away deadwood, and use it to make other things, that wouldn't exist otherwise. Making things must have it's place in the world." Dania: "Tell HIM! THEY'RE the ones who went wild and went chopping down trees and killing people just so they could get more GOLD, and go around killing everything beuatiful in the world and..." Kortul: "WIZARD!" Dania: "WHAT?!" Kortul: "Pointless, stupid. Wizard, steer. Razuli, take priest's pole. Priest, sit there." (Indictes between Dania and Arlor.) Kory: "No, no, let them go on. This is highly amusing." Dania: "Why the FUCK should I listen to you?!" Razuli: (Leaves steering oar.) "Come on, take the steering. Navero, why don't you have a talk with these two?" Dania: (Glares, grumbles, takes steering oar.) Razuli: (Aside to Kortul) "What's with you? You spoke several sentence fragments in a row. For such a long speech, she must be finally getting to ya, huh?" Kortul: (Glares) "Women down here uppity, don't know to shut up. 'Specially elves. Talk too much. Everyone talks too much." Razuli: "It's those pert little buns, isn't it? The heaving breasts, the fiery eyes; a woman you can't tame..." Kortul: (Glares) Razuli: "Ok, OK! Sheesh, you're no fun at all, ya know?" Kory: (Laughs.) Along the way, we met a most extrordinary person. During a lull in the conversation, we saw a small man in woodland colors, waving to us from the side of the river. We went over to investigate. Small Man: "Hello. I could not help but hear you as you came up the river. I was wondering at your purpose, as I can see that this is not your usual mode of travel." Razuli: "We're going to kill a dragon. Wanna come with us?" Small Man: "How kind of you to offer. I had entered this area with an intent of scouting out such a beast, which threatens the order of this lovely green. However, with the company of such obviously capable and industrious people as yourselves, I may be able to do more to correct the unbalancing of natural forces." Razuli: "Huh?" Small Man: "Yes, very capable and industrious. I am Topash Raycin; I am a member of the Green Brotherhood of the Wood." Navero: "Don't you worship trees?" Topash: "Hah. No; we work with the forces of nature to preserve the balance of the world. We do not worship anyone; we coexist." Dania: "Great. Glad to have another elf on board. Come on in." Topash: "Elves, humans, dwarves; all have their place in the balance. But before we move on, I think perhaps some advice on how to handle a skiff is in order..." And so we went on into the swamp. The afternoon passed uneventfully. Game Master: Damn. I expected you to walk in. You're floating past all the encounters I set up. Party: Sorry 'bout that. What a shame. GM: I guess I'll just have to wing it. (*SPLASH!* Skiff tilts, entire party goes into the drink.) Kory: *Glub!* "Oh no! I'll get my instrument wet!" Razuli: "Worry about your manhood some other time. There's nothing around here that would want it anyway." Arlor: "I can't sw..." A huge, greenish, yucky-looking humanoid had come up under our skiff and toppled us into the river. Fortunately, it was shallow in the swamps, and only Arlor went under. More humanoids appeared from the bracken along the shore, and they rushed clumsily to the attack. Kortul: (Draws sword, moves to Troll 1 by the skiff.) Dania: "I think it's Trolls!" (Magic Missiles Troll 2) Topash: (Entangles two Trolls in bracken) Razuli: "Get a fire going! Navero, do it!" Navero: "But my tinder and flints are all wet!" Arlor: (*Blub*) Kory: "I can't play a wet lute. Take that, putresence! (stabs Troll 3) Mess with me, eh? I'll teach you to " *WHAM!* "... on de udder hand, I could always use a bit o' education myself..." Troll 1: "Harruuugat! Kill! Fuud!" (Much swinging of claws, etc.) Kortul: "Ha!" (Criticals, removes Troll 1's head. It falls in river, body begins looking for it blindly.) Navero: "Hang on, hang on..." (Staggers to shore, gets out flint and steel, starts looking for dry tinder.) Razuli: "Quit playing with your instrumtent, bard." (Hits Troll 2.) Kory: "Oh, ha ha. At least I have one, human!" (Misses Troll 3) "Fuck it." Dania: "Are you that desperate, Kory?" (Magic Missiles Troll 3.) Arlor: *BLUB!* Topash: "Is this how you usually do battle, brave adventurers?" (Hits Troll 4) Trolls: (Three Trolls still fighting. Razuli clawed twice, Kory bitten, one moves in on Navero.) Navero: "eep!" (Runs from Troll 4, Troll 4 chases.) Topash: "It's good to see a group of people who can cast aside their personal differences and cooperate so well." (Hits Troll 3.) ##### ## ## ## ##### ## ## ## ## ## ## ## ## ## Arlor: ##### ## ## ## ##### ## ## ## ## ## ## ## ## ##### ###### #### ##### ## Razuli: "What the fuck was that?" Kory: "I belive it is our Dwarven comapanion, attempting to alert us to one of the hazards associated with shortness. Go see to him, my good fellow; and do be quick about it." Kortul: (Takes large chunk out of Troll 3.) Dania: "Oh, let him walk ashore." (Magic Missiles Troll 3, finishes it) Trolls: (Two left. One bites and claws Razuli, other still chasing Navero.) Razuli: "Oww... My cue for a strategic retreat." (Breaks away, goes to look for Arlor.) Kortul: (Comes ashore) "Priest! Quit playing; get over here!" Navero: "Ahhh!!" (Hits patch of very moist ground, falls. Troll 3, strangely, does not follow.) Kory: "Does anyone have a fire started yet? Children, children, do I have to take care of everything?" (Stabs Troll 2.) Dania: "Oh, shut up." (MM's Troll 2.) "Kortul! We need you on this one!" Topash: (Hits Troll 2.) Arlor: *GASP!* (Pulled up to air by Razuli.) Trolls: (Headless Troll has found it's head. Troll 3 starts to come back up out of river. Troll 4 leaves Navero. Troll 2 claws Dania, Kory, misses with bite.) Navero: "I'm sinking!" (Indeed, he is sinking into the damp ground.) Dania: (MM's Troll 2, it falls.) Razuli: "Nav, it's quicksand! Lie still!" Arlor: "I'm not never goin' in a boat again, yup, that's for sure." Dania: "Yes, you are. Now do something!" Razuli: (Notices Troll 1 putting it's head back on. Promptly knocks it off again. It tries to bite and falls into the river.) Kortul: (Criticals, cuts Troll 4 in half.) Topash: "Hmph." (Comes ashore, starts to work on fire.) "Everything's wet." Kortul: "Common enough in swamp." Trolls: (Troll one resumes search. Troll 3 moves to Dania. Troll 4 squirms. Troll 2 stays on river bottom. Trolls 5 & 6 starting to break out of the Entanglement.) Kortul: (Drags Navero out of quicksand by his vestments.) "Not going well." Topash: "Patience... Got it!" (Fire started.) Dania: "Great! Now do something with it!" (Smacks Troll 3 with her staff, it falls.) Razuli: (Puts Arlor in shallow water, goes looking for Troll 1's head.) Kory: "Ah, good! Someone besides me displays signs of competence! I am greatly encouraged; now, if only my lute weren't ruined..." Navero: "Ugh! The two halves are growing!" Arlor: "They do that, yup. Disgustin'" Trolls: (Troll 1 still looking. Troll 3 goes down, Troll 2 hasn't come up. Troll 4 still squirming, Trolls 5 & 6 break Entanglement.) Navero: "That fire's awful small." Topash: "The wood is quite damp." Kortul: (Moves to Trolls 5 & 6.) "Get over here!" Dania: (Webs Trolls 5 & 6; it just misses Kortul.) "Ha! Got 'em!" Arlor: (Wades ashore.) "I hate water." Razuli: "Any luck with the fire?" (Finds Troll 1's head, sticks it on his sword.) Topash: "Some. There; if anyone has any dry torches, we can begin. But be careful not to let the fire spread." The skiff had fortunately not been capsized, merely tipped, so our supplies are still dry. With the help of some lantern oil, Trolls 5 and 6 were soon roasting. As other Trolls come back up, they are sectioned and burned; some party members take damage during the fight. After healing, everyone is moderately OK, although muddy and very wet. Of course, with this many Trolls, there is probably a lair nearby; a few hours search reveals the only likely candidate, a large cave near the water, under an overhang. We took torches, and went in, Kortul at the point. The cave went in for about 25 feet; the floor was earth packed down by huge feet; tree roots poked through the roof. At 25 feet, the tunnel took an abrupt dog-leg turn, and around the corner, waited 2 more Trolls. Troll 1: *SMACK!* (Hits Kortul with a Longsword, bites.) Kortul: (!?) (Shoves torch in it's mouth.) Navero: (Starts Chanting) Troll 2: (Tosses flask of oil onto Kortul.) Kortul: (!?!) Troll 1: "Gon' burn now?! HahahAhaAhA!" Razuli: "Oh, fuck." Kory: "Duy, duy, this one's got a brain somewhere! We should remove and donate it to science!" Dania: "Kortul, back off and let me web 'em!" Troll 1: (Claws, bites Kortul.) Kortul: "RRRAAAHH!!!" (Swings twice and criticals once. Troll 1 goes down.) Topash: "Very impressive. Now get out and let us burn the other." Troll 2: (Grabs Kortul, hugs him close, sticks tongue out at party.) Dania: (MM's Troll 2) Arlor: (Has snuck behind Troll 2, stabs it in the knee, distracting it.) Kortul: (Squrms away from Troll 2) "Hit it!" Topash: (Lights the oil that rubbed off of Kortul onto Troll 2.) After much sound and fury, the two Trolls were dead and burned. The air within the cave is quite fouled, but we explored on nontheless. Within, we found a lot of bones, a lot of rocks, and very little else. It being nearly nightfall by this point, we set up camp a short way up the river; any bits of Troll we had missed did not come to bother us, and the night passed uneventfully. Dan Parsons "Oh, goody! My instrument seems to be in working order!" "Kory, quit playing with yourself and go to sleep. You can lay Dania in the morning." NAVERO XXII From: dparsons@jarthur.claremont.edu (Daniel Parsons) Path: jarthur.claremont.edu!dparsons Newsgroups: rec.games.frp Subject: Navero XXIII Distribution: world Organization: Harvey Mudd College, Claremont, CA 91711 Keywords: Navero, of the Correct and Unalterable Way Navero, male human cleric, 4th level Dania, female 1/2-elf MU, 4th level Kortul, male human fighter, 3rd level Razuli, male human fighter, 3rd level Arlor, male dwarf thief, 3rd level Kory Silvertongue, male elf bard, 2nd level Topash, male elf druid, 3rd level Morning came, foggy and dim, to the marshes. Nothing had come to the camp to eat us in the night. The nocturnal sounds of the swamp were uninterrupted. The mists were very thick; feeling somewhat vulnerable, we loaded the skiff and set out, pausing now and then to bash an adventurous crocodile on the nose. In the fog, everything seemed subdued and quiet, as if listening, and waiting for something. Thick, gnarled trees rose up from the hidden ground, vines and mosses and strangleweed hanging from their branches. Kory: "Oh, I just LOVE what they've done with this place! So totally retro- primeval. I must say, this dampness suits you quite admirably, dear magic-user. The way your robe clings to you is SO evocative of the dreamy summer days of my distant youth." Dania: "Leave me out of your wet dreams." Arlor: "I wanna go home." Kory: "You be quiet. I'm quite happy here." Navero: "I wish it weren't so wet. This would be a nice place; those trees over there are kind of nice." Kortul: (Starts) "quiet!" Kory: "What? Be QUIET? Don't you understand me? Of course you don't. To remain quiet is against the rules of my chosen profession. Why, I come from a veritable royalty of splendidly harmonic issuance, perhaps the finest..." Razuli: (Clamps a hand over Kory's mouth.) "Bard, ya got three choices: shut up, dive in, or start losing appendages. Your tongue won't be last." Kory: "Music haters." Topash: "No; there is a disturbance near here." Razuli: "You feel a tremor in the force, Obi-wan?" Topash: (sigh.) "No; something is watching us." Dania: "I don't see anything." Kortul: "'course not." Arlor: "I really wanna go home." Dania: "So start swimming." Navero: "Maybe it would be a good idea if we all tried to be quiet?" Party: Yea, sure, right kiddies, etc. (Party stays quiet maybe 2 minutes.) Kory: "Damn. I gotta go to the bathroom." Topash: "Why didn't you go before we started?" Kory: "Oh, your buffness? You too, Raz. Could I trouble you two kind gentlemen to pole us over to the side, by those reeds? Thank you kindly." Razuli: "Shit, Bard. But not here." Kory: "That's what I'm trying to do." With faint but audible grumbling, the skiff was poled over to the side of the river. Kory jumped out and went into the bushes. Then, suddenly we all heard a great crackling, like trees being torn up and pushed aside; a blast of chill air swept over us. A big black shape rose up out of the mists on the opposite shore, opened it's jaws, and spit. The glob of digestive acid hit the skiff amidships, spattering everyone; we all dove into the water to wash the vile liquid off. Everyone but Navero, that is. He was hit full in the face with the glob, and, without even a chance to scream, dissolved into the bottom of the skiff. The acid ate out the bottom, and the whole thing went down. Party: AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! Twang! Light! Hurl! Spellcast! "Kill the *%&$@\%*&!!" K K A BBB L A M M "Bolt!" KK A-A B-B L A-A MMM Twang! K K A A BBB LLL A A M M Throw! Ka-Thunk! Twang! Whunk! Twang! Twang! (Plus many other sounds commonly made by a badly frightened party unloading into some poor defenseless little dragonling.) The baby Black wobbled in mid-air a bit, then silently crashed into the middle of the river. Being a small shallow river, it was only partially submerged, so we spent another couple of rounds filling it with arrows and bolts and magic until we had assured ourselves that it was dead. Dania: "Is it dead?" Kory: "It damn well better be!" Razuli: "Where's the priest?" Kortul: "In the boat." Dania: "Where's the boat?" Kortul: "On the bottom." Dania: "Oh fuck it, not again." Dania splashed into the ramains of the skiff; most of our equipment was acid-seared and water-logged, but some was salvageable. Of Navero, she was able to find a shoe, a few teeth, and not much else. Kortul and Razuli waded out to the Dragon; they were careful to stay upstream, as the water was already becoming laden with it's noisesome blood. By this point, the thing was quite dead; sadly, the hide was too badly damaged to be of much use, and we knew of nothing else that had value. Kortul: (Prying out a canine) "Treasure?" Razuli: "I got no idea where it is. Better find some to satisfy snot-face. Are we going back there?" Dania: "Remember the chits? Forget running." Topash: "A monetary prize would be of some use. This `snot-face' you mention seems unecessarily obsessed with money, however; perhaps if he did not receive any, he would realize the utter futility of concern over material wealth." Razuli: "Yea, yea, what he said. Let's get rid of these things and get outa here." Kory: "My feelings exactly! I wish to skip merrily through the woods, free of the dismal chains of beauracracy! Besides, this dumb little thing clashes with my tunic. Let us be done with them!" Dania: "Right. I'll look into it. But first we find this thing's trearure." Topash: "I shall look into that." (Shapechanges into a sparrow, flys off.) Dania: "Don't go alone, you... oh, you idiot." The sparrow flew off in the direction the dragon had come from. The land in this direction was higher than usual, almost dry; following the dragons trail was not difficult. It had been moving along beside them for some time; no doubt awoken from a gorged sleep by all the noise the others had been making. It seemed to have come out of an overgrown spot on a small, gentle hill. That seemed the most likely spot for the lair. Sailing on his borrowed wings, Topash flew into the trees, gliding between their high and noble trunks. They were tall and straight, unusual for the area, and further apart than usual. Faint depresions in the earth indicated that other trees had once stood there, but had been thinned away, allowing these others to grow higher. They effectively screened a large area from the air, preventing the occupant from being seen from that angle. It was amazing that a dragon which seemed so young could have done all this. Fluttering deeper in, the ground vegetation thinned, revealing the occasional track. Most of these were ordinary; rabbit or such. Some were dragon's tracks; however, a couple of these were quite a bit larger than a small dragon could be expected to make. A very uncomfortable thought began to rise; Topash nervously flew on, to make a startling and disconcerting discovery at the center of the wood. He elected to quietly leave and inform his new companions of this unexpected turn of events. (Sparrow shrieks into the middle of the group like a bat out of hell, changes into an elf in mid-air and crashes to the ground. Topash stands up.) Topash: "Can the boat be repaired? QUICKLY?!?" Razuli: "I doubt it. You didn't find the treasure, did ya?" Topash: "No, I'm afraid not. Instead, I found your baby's parents. Do you know anything about dragons? Like, they rarely have children? And that those children are valued more than the earth itself? And they get a trifle annoyed with people who kill their children?" Arlor: "I'm going home." Kory: "Oh, Christ! How did you people ever talk me into going on this ill- fated expidition? You told me, Dragon! Singular! I'm terribly sorry, but multiple dragons is not in my contract." Dania: "Godamn it all.... We better get the fuck *out* of here!" Kortul: "Useless. On foot. They're flying. Will defoliate whole swamp to find us." Topash: "I must agree. They are going to be *quite* upset when they find out." Razuli: "Waitaminute, waitaminute. `When they find out'? They don't know yet?" Dania: "Yea, didn't they hear us?" Topash: "Ah, no. They're asleep. Older dragons sleep more heavily." Kory: "Oh.... Asleep, you say, dear woodsy-type-person?" Kortul: "Have to kill them." Razuli: "That just might be possible, kids. Where are they?" Topash: (Hmm...) "There seems no other option, so... this way, please." Dan Parsons "There sure are an awful lot of dragons around here." NAVERO XXIII